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BM and her pitiful ignorance!!! Grrr...

Tprettysmile's picture

We had my SD3 this weekend as we get her EOW...she has a cold and has been hacking all day and night. SHe felt warm so DH took temp and the first was 103 degrees and the second was 104 degrees. Her drop off time is at 6pm and it was 4:30p when we realized she had a fever. DH went to the store to get Tylenol and called BM to inform her of the the news and that he was going to drop her off a little early so that SD3 could get home and comfortable. But of course BM has to play games as usual stating that she is not home and neither is her SD3's grandmother. SD3 has been asking for BM all day as she states she misses her. It is 7pm right now and SD3 is still with DH as BM is no where to be found. SD3 will have to wake up at 5a to go to daycare all the while she is still not home settled and will have to still go out in the cold even later than it already is.

BM is always playing these games at her SD3's expense. BM thinks she is hurting DH but he is a grown a!@ man!

It is taking everything for me not to call her and tell her about herself...I'm gonna let DH handle it.


SM#1's picture

I wish BMs would think for a minute about what they are putting these kids through. I don't exactly think my SD is perfect but I never do anything just to hurt her, or do something when I know she will get caught in the cross fire!

I feel so bad for her, only 3 yrs! There is no way daycare is going to take her with that high of a fever. Someone is probably going to have to stay home with her tomorrow.

northernsiren's picture

I can't believe that the daycare would take her, that's dangerous...

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

Tprettysmile's picture

I guess we will have to see if she cares enough to take off of work to care for her child or will she ship her off to someone else as usual.

imagr8tma's picture

i guess she should get the "bad" mother of the year award.

dang, i would have come and pick my little one up early if she was sick. Get her in bed and give the meds....

was this bm raised by wolves.

Razamond's picture

poor liitle girl - sick and asking for her moma - I used to refuse to pass judgement on BM, but after four years of similar instances I can truly say she is a piece of sh@t and it sounds like yours is too

Really-ImTrying's picture

Why did he need to take her home early because she's sick? She could rest and snuggle on your couch for another hour and then go to mom's, or she could go to mom's now. Either way, she's still going to have to get up and get out in the weather. I'm only asking because my ex won't ever take the kids when they're sick. Part of parenting is dealing with sick kids! I'm really not trying to be offensive, I'm just curious what the reasoning is.

Tprettysmile's picture

We get SD3 whenever it's her time to be with us, that's not a problem - sick or not. But the whole point is that she needed to be as comfortable and in a permanent place while she wasn't feeling good. She was falling asleep and kept getting woken up to take her temp and give her fluids which caused her to become upset as well as asking for BM. As the evening approach the temp drops and it's nonsense to make a sick child wait just to NOT inconvenience BM. They have to drive a ways and I just felt that if it were my child I would want her to be settled for the night at my home. Furthermore the temp went from 103 to 104 and it could have kept rising.

The pick up time is around 6pm but she wasn't picked up until 9p and BM was trying to act all concerned then! She was called at 4:30! When she got home and finally decided to answer the phone it was about 10:30 and noticed that the side of SD3's face was swollen (it wasn't when we had her).

I guess my issue is that if I am a mother my child's health is most important! I would not leave her anywhere and not answer my phone for hours and then try to act so concerned when I finally decide to pick her up!

frustratedinMA's picture

I think the concern is, when they are that sick, they want their mommy and their own bed. I dont think that either of them doesnt want the little girl because she is sick, but rather want her to be as comfortable as possible, and not having to wake her up to go back to mommy's later..

Also, the little girl was asking for her mommy.. I know when I was sick, nothing did it for me like my mommy taking care of me.. no matter how much I loved my dad.

They were thinking of the kid, not themselves!

Really-ImTrying's picture

But she had been asking for her mom all day (even before they knew she was sick). I just don't think that not being able to take her home an hour early is worth getting worked up about. Now, trying to take her home at the regularly scheduled time and mom not being there, especially when she knows the child is sick, is inexcusable.

Maybe I'm just biased because my ex has a bad habit of fairweather parenting (I'm not suggesting that's what OP is doing). I get defensive of my time without my kids too almost as much as my time with my kids. It bothers me when I get the phone call that I have to change my plans because one of the kids (or my SD) has a fever, runny nose, lice, whatever. I would change plans without a second thought for an emergency, but just a cold? I guess I jsut think their dad and SM should be able to take care of that.

Tprettysmile's picture

I'm glad you can understand exactly what I was feeling! This incident actually evoked a feeling that I haven't felt before...I actually wanted her to have her mother because I understand that comfort that only a mom can give!

bellacita's picture

well actually, i guess she was sick earlier in the week bc aside from a cough and some phlem she was fine. but BM said she had been throwing up constantly, and that if she was still throwing up, she would get her early (sat nite at 7 instead of sun am at 9...big help there) when DH said i know how to take care of a sick kid, u know what BMs response was??? "well, ur just a PART TIME PARENT"...UGH. nevermind that she CHOSE that for SD when she decided to conceive despite DHs wishes...she also fed and bathed her before he picked her up so i guess hes not competent enough to do that either. UGH. guess no one can take care of her like BM CAN!!!!!!! :barf:

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Tara12's picture

Okay is it just me or what mother would not want to go pick up their child if they had a 104 degree temperature? Especially when the SD3 was asking for her all day. What kind of mother makes excuses for not being available. I don't think daycare would take her with a fever either - BM is going to have to stay home with her. Did her fever go down with the tylenol?

Tprettysmile's picture

A mother who wants to party and hang out every chance she get! SD3 wanted to call her the whole weekend and that is not usual. She was coughing from the time she walked through the door on Fri but she didn't get a fever until Sun. It went down to 100 after fluids, tylenol and removing some of the covers. But she hasn't called with an update and won't answer the phone!

smurfy1smile's picture

FSS1 had an ear infection and perforated ear drum in September when we got him. BM did not let us know he was under the weather. We would still take him but we would like to be informed so we can care for him in the best possible way. FSS1 was sick last night and BM was very casual about the whole thing. She never asked if we were able to keep him another night. She just assumed we could do it.

My ex refuses to take our daughter when she is ill. Thankfully, it rarely happens and if it does when he all ready has her I make him drive her all the way home if he wants to bring her back early. Its never been more that a cold which he could handle if he tried just tiny bit. Last time I checked, you are a parent no matter what - how you are feeling, how the child is feeling, how much money you do or don't have etc.