I slept horribly last night. I woke up in the middle of the night due to a horrible nightmare and my heart was pounding. I dreamt the court was taking SD3 away from BF and BF was crying. It scared me and I was really rattled this morning. BF isn't as shattered as he was after reading the report yesterday. He says it's not a loss for us and not a win for her. He's pretty confident that with the right statement to the court they will hit her pretty hard. Honestly I'm not confident about them granting him primary custody at this point, but at least if we can get into a better residential situation with SD3, that would be a huge improvement.

Another thing we discussed was how scary it is that BM has admitted in the report to being so paranoid that she is coming to exchanges armed with a taser and that she isn't dropping the Domestic Violence stuff, even though it was completely dismissed in the DVPO hearing. BF hopes to push for a change to a fulltime preschool (BM visited and agreed it was nice but that SD3 didn't need fulltime daytime care despite a court order for her to find fulltime work) and to state the exchanges need to happen through there. The GAL recommended the parking lot of our current apt building for exchanges, but we don't want her coming anywhere near where we live. If they insist on having her and him do exchanges with each other, I'm going to suggest BF push to allow videorecording of each exchange. She has repeatedly attempted to provoke him to violate the restraining order by making inappropriate comments to him during the exchanges. BF is pushing to have the restraining order lifted and we want to make sure going forward ANY contact we have with BM is fully documented.

Note that a restraining order was entered in the DVPO that was meant as a temporary measure until the temporary orders were in place to prevent conflict between the parties. BM has insisted on keeping it and will not negotiate redacting it even though there is no reason for it.

BF reassured me that BM had her day in court in the DVPO hearing about the Domestic Violence stuff and they did not believe her. That she continues to carry on about it just makes her look bad and doesn't reflect on him. Furthermore, his own lawyer had said in preparation for mediation that he noticed the other party was still insisting in the paperwork that Domestic Violence was an issue, and that he did not think it was a good idea on their part. His lawyer is pretty experienced and realistic about how the court operates and what's important. He's given pretty solid advice so far and BM and her negative advocate lawyer have managed to look pretty bad.

Basically in the financial hearing BM got her ass handed to her but she walked away with child support and maintenance and free rent. She has made no effort to get a job and has stated to anyone who'll listen that her plan is to relocate out of state to her parents house (although recently SD3 is talking about going to another state to get a "new daddy" errrrmm..... a state where BM's internet cybersex partner lives, who she has never met in person as far as we know), not work for a year, and then enter into the field she was working in prior to her pregnancy. BF paid for her to get certified in something else entirely this past year. The woman has no plan or realistic idea of what she's doing. That's the kicker, with BF and me, we are both steadily employed and have ties to the area. There is absolutely no doubt and no question as to what SD3's life would be like with us especially in the short term. With BM on the other hand, it's a wild card, no one knows, she has no ties to the area, no job, no way to support herself or SD3, no plan, and a history of bad decisions that clearly put SD3's needs beneath her own.

WTF is wrong with our court system? Yeah having an emotional bond with your child is important but it's not all there is to being a primary custodian of a child.