GAL Report says BM shd be Primary :(

We got the GAL report today. We were really hopeful but she made a recommendation based on not changing the status quo.

This is for temporary orders, but all I've heard is that it might as well be permanent.

Fortunately the report was very much in our favor and talked about BF's involvement in a positive light. As well the "status quo" argument can be shot out of the water, GAL recommended SD3 stay in her current part time preschool, but BM has been court ordered to find fulltime work, so that's just not a reality. We believe the court will order the preschool change we want.

GAL also recommended psych evaluations for both, and we're going to take those. Most of the people talked to were people only the BM had been talking to including her therapist who she'd been telling all about her traumatic "domestic violence".

BM has been trying to claim she is a victim of domestic violence and has been making up lies about BF to anyone who will listen. In addition BM admitted to wanting to relocate to across the country to get out of the father's hair". Recently SD3 has been talking about having a "new daddy" in another state where BM's online cybersex buddy lives.

I am feeling pretty bummed, I am feeling like the court is going to grant primary to BM no matter how strong of a case we make. The only way that is going to happen is if we prove that BF *needs* to be in his daughters life and she tries to relocate. That BM will be able to sit on her ass collecting child support and not have to do shit. WTF is wrong with our court system?

I feel like despite how hard we've tried and despite all the positive things the GAL had to say about us, and despite all the negative things she had to say about BM in the report, no one wants to change "the status quo". The status quo is bullshit. Divorce means change. Bitch is being stubborn and not being a responsible adult. She is incapable of taking care of herself and managing her own household. She's never had to be a sole provider. Even the GAL suggested she might have problems transitioning to being a single mom once she starts working.

Is everyone just waiting for BM to go off and do something crazy that could seriously put SD3 at risk before being willing to do what's right???

Edit: adding a link to my previous post about the situation:
http://steptalk.org/node/32954

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Yeah I wrote it up in a

Yeah I wrote it up in a previous post, I'll link it.

http://steptalk.org/node/32954

I agree that although it's

I agree that although it's sad and tough, it's very common. Some states (or judges) feel it is more important to keep things the way they are for children rather than make changes. That's what happened to my fiance as well...he went through a custody battle with BM over his son. Although he was constantly put in a good light for being a good father and providing not only for his son but also for BM's daughter that he helped to raise (unfortunately the courts didn't give a shit about that part) he still ended up with what they call "extended visitation". He has his son half the time yet it's NOT 50/50 legal custody. BM has primary custody. It was very frustrating.

Fact is, in most cases, judges will not remove a parent as the custodial parent unless there are GLARINGLY obvious child neglect or abuse issues going on.

The thing that's stupid is

The thing that's stupid is she never technically GOT primary parent. She filed a false DVPO so BF couldn't go near his house or daughter for 2 weeks. Then in that hearing the DV charges were dismissed and the commissioner put together a temporary residential plan that has BF having SD3 three weeknights from 5-8 and alternating weekends fri-sun. That plan is *still* in place to this day and the only reason BM has any say over what SD3 does is because she is home all day and doesn't have a job. The court ordered her to find work. She's been dragging her heels, not applying for jobs she's qualfied for, applying for out of state jobs where she stated she intends to relocate. When she starts working this will change EVERYTHING which is why she won't do it

Our GAL found that BM should

Our GAL found that BM should not move out of the state with SKs. Wise Judge made his own finding that she should move. So dont give up hope! Judges are the gatekeeprs-they can pretty much rule any way they please.

That sucks, I've heard of

That sucks, I've heard of that happening before as well from BF's own lawyer. Fortunately it was easy to turn around and it was ultimately rejected. Our state (WA) tends to lean towards joint custody and equal residential time, so I'm hopeful they will not let her relocate with SD3.

The report just came across

The report just came across as cowardly more than anything. Yeah she's a woman, a lawyer in fact, but I didn't get the feeling from her that she was biased either way. She reported the facts and I guess just didn't feel she had enough to make a recommendation to change the status quo. Although the status quo that exists is not really the status quo and is going to change no matter what. It also had occurred to me that BM is so crazy, everyone may just be waiting for her to rock the boat first before they are willing to make any sort of ruling :/

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