What Will You Do
when CS ends? I write this as Chef goes out the door on his Sunday/CS job (The Gir routed CS through CSEU 13.5 yrs ago although Chef NEVER missed one cent of CS on his own) therefore CS needs a shill job to pull CS from. They won't except that it gets paid without an income execution from SOMEWHERE.
Boatloads of projects go by the wayside and his regular business has to wait on his CS shill job. Oh and because the accounting software has artificial stop rules it greatly limits the amount that goes directly to CS as it won't put his entire pay for Sunday into the CS pot. He has to manually redirect the rest from direct deposit to CSEU.
And of course makes up the difference with his regular job. Makes life very complicated. When I think of all the time wasted for the Girhippo to be on the payroll ($800 a month for a 20 and 16 yr old; two abject Failure to Launch scenarios due to PAS) it makes me ill.
Anyway at the very least the 20 year old should be coming off in 12 months. Hopefully that is if the Girhippo doesn't pull some sort of "SD is going to college" trick until 24.
When Chef gets the official letter that there's no more CS for SD I am booking a holiday to the Cayman Islands!
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Wait.. This mess can be
Wait.. This mess can be dragged out until 24?! And what happened to the grade stipulation for the 20 year old? IIRC, you were able to get the eldest boy emancipated since he moved out at 19. Do you think the skids are privy to BM's manipulations? If so, maybe SD20 doesn't care enough to stay enrolled in college.
The PASed out Skids
Are EXTREMELY under the influence of the BM as far as her manipulations go-- especially SD-20 and YSS stb 16.
Yes the CO says that Chef can go back and determine if sd20 is able to support herself in a larger way instead of working a few hours at a pizza joint and forsaking College all together.
But you'll remember that the Girhippo went out and got an IEP for SD and got her labeled "learning disabled-other" which is hogwash so potentially her argument will be that because SD won't be able to launch for a long time she will need more CS payments.
I did consult with a Hotshot city attorney and she basically said just to let her age out at 21 and then fight it out if the Girhippo brings up the "more CS until she is 24" bullshit.
The attorney stated that although you may be able to prove constructive emancipation by conduct the courts are not interested in that; they are only interested in the financial end and will likely rule against Chef for discontinuing CS. Especially here in small town Upstate New York as they desperately need their title iv-d Social Security fed kickbacks for most CS collected and have zero interest in stopping CS as it's a large part of their tax coffers.
I think that's also why the
I think that's also why the court usually makes custody 51/49 for the interest of making one party pay CS- or so I've heard. It is truly a cluster.
Your whole CS situation is so
Your whole CS situation is so messed up.
DH is paying on each SD until they turn 18 and finish high school, whichever comes first. It will continue the summer after high school if they continue to college, but end once college starts. Pretty simple and fair. He doesn't pay much but he still feels it and add to the fact of course HE is still paying off marital debt and IRS debt due to BM settlement. Fun. I'm making sure he is paying that down!
There is that stupid pay for half of college clause but he doesn't have anything saved (divorce debt and BM took all his savings) for it and says eff it. SDs will likely both get scholarships and grants as they are superstar students.
Once SD12 is in college, or if she decides to not go to high school in our district (we think she will) we will likely sell or rent the house and move somewhere more affordable and travel.
The Monday following SS 10 graduating
from high school, I’m opening my own Business! Although I love SS dearly I refuse to do it a moment before so that hypocritical leech of a mother of his can benefit from it. He needs money for college, he’s got it! She however won’t see a dime of it! Come on June 2027!!
5 years and 7 months = freedom!
Wow thinkthrice - that is one bag of thorns right there! And to think that he is spending all that moolah, and doesnt get any benefits such as enjoying being a father. the system, as I try to tell people (who rarely understand at all), is so broken. I mean, I totally get that our children need support, and all that, but it just seems that the BMs are being rewarded for being total jerks.
What will we do? LOL The Happy Dance, the funky chicken, the Macarena...
No, but seriously. Child Support JUST started in September. He was served with the first order modification (the original order did not include CS) in July, right after we were married. Started September 1st. I have mentioned many times that he HAS to pay the CS no matter what, because if he is late she can open a case with local authoritues and get a wage garnishment which will affect his credit, instead of wage withholding which doesnt. This is important so we can get financing for our house. So what happens? Hes a little late, turns to me and asks "do I have to pay, or should I wait for them to take it out of my check?" I said "heck no you MUST pay that b!tch. that is how things are set up, you WILL get in trouble."
So, I start the almighty countdown. 1 year and 5 months, and alimony stops. 5 years and 7 months and child support stops. Im thinking by then we will have a nice bit of equity, sell the house and move closer to the ocean, where we really want to be. The amounts are not going to break us, but they definitely hurt him. We keep our finances separate, and I pay half the bills. We cannot afford a vacation, but lucky for us we live close to a tourist destination spot, so we get day trips.
Munchkin SD12 keeps saying she wants to go to college, and Ive mentioned that it will have to be on scholarships and loans because we dont have money for that. Shes ok with that. I can see her wanting to live with us while going to college that is nearby. Shes great company and still very polite and nice.
The thing that I worry about is Toxic Troll. This month she lost her job in the school system, and probably has been blacklisted. There is retraining programs I have found, for "displaced workers", but her job experience is very specialised. I am hoping she doesnt file a change in circumstance order modification. She is getting 50k from workers comp and 30k from severance because they dont want her working for them anymore...and neither of these payouts can be counted as income for her, I believe. So, pretty much anything can happen between here and there.
What kind of business are you starting???? I dream of starting a business as well...
You're lucky
When Chef and the Girhippo got divorced she played the stay in bed mom/ I have no money game. Pretending she was left high and dry even though she has a degree and Chef does not.
CS has been outrageous ever since, for the past coming up on, 15 years.
I feel your pain! My BM works
I feel your pain! My BM works a currently games the system to get benefits! She maintains a shell home while staying with her BF they are living it up!!!
I plan to start something in education. Tutoring, maybe childcare? I just want to make a difference in children who may not otherwise have those (well-managed) resources available to them. *biggrin*
We are paying alimony to a
We are paying alimony to a lazy cow. My DH is mortified she’ll ask for more since he gers a raise annually and she still doesn’t work so he is very hesitant to spend too much on anything. When it’s over we have ton of plans such as moving to a better place and travel it’s 1k a month thrown out. 12k a year. Kids are grown up. The only reason we are paying is that she never wanted to work and still doesn’t. we both work so she doesn’t have to. Justice system sucks
The only good thing
About alimony is that it is tax deductible whereas CS is not. the Girhippo made sure to lump all of what would be alimony into the Cs payment to further punish chef
True. We dont have CS as kids
True. We dont have CS as kids are grown. My DH was afraid to leave while kids were younger. He was afraid she’ll make it impossible to have relationship with the kids as she was awful person. So he waited. He tried to leave her twice but she’s show up with suitcases and he’d take her back. He refused last time and she tried to make his life he$$. We are still doing ok though even after paying alimony but she lives way below poverty line. So she thought she won. Nope. She is still a loser
Oh thinkthrice - I'm so sorry
Oh thinkthrice - I'm so sorry this is such a mess for you and your DH.
Our CS obligation ended in June, and it's been such a huge relief. We did pick up insurance for OSD to help her out while she's in college, and we still do phones for all skids. So...about $400-$450 of my paycheck is still going out the door to skids. But it's so much better than doing things we wanted to do for skids ON TOP of the CS obligation.
We've been traveling more...I've been putting more in savings.
What will YOU do??
Cayman Islands!
2 week vacay!
I think you deserve a 2 month
I think you deserve a 2 month vacay, minimum...