The Disengagement Diaries, Part 1.
I have been on this website before but deleted my account because I thought the site was making me more stressed and negative. Well, the spiral is ever-flowing downward and my meager attempts at disengaging in the past failed. I have chosen to use this site not to fuel the flame but rather as a supporting cast while I embark on disengaging from circus sideshow that is my SO and SS5.
I have been miserable, SO has been miserable and I just can’t do it anymore. What woke me up was when SO’s mother started riding SO about his “parenting” of SS5. She came to me looking for support and I said that I agreed with her but SO doesn’t appreciate my insights on parenting and how I need to choose my battles. Really, I just need to be done with the battles and somehow I need to relay the message to SO’s family that the rearing of SS5 is not my responsibility. SS has a mom and she’s not a deadbeat (lucky to not have to deal with a crazy BM). SO and I have an infant child together and my hands are full enough. I need to view my disengagement from SS as trying to refocus my energies into properly raising my DS. I’ll be dammed to let him become anything like SS5 who has a mean-spirtedness to him I’ve never quite witnessed in any other children.
I see this weekend, the first, as being the easiest for a long while. Disengagement is fresh in my mind but I know it will be so hard for me to bite my tongue and just let the chaos unravel. I might have to set up a periodic reminder on my phone that says, “The time to stop caring is NOW!” Perhaps some humorous ones like, “He’s SO’s little turd, not yours,” and so forth.
It’s time to cut these chains, disengagement starts now!!