Open letter to BMs
Here it goes, if you could write anything to BM what would it be? If you wanted her to "get the point" what would you say?..........
Dear BM: THis is not a competition. I am not in High school. I am not here to replace you as your term already ended. Why would I want to replace something that in my husbands eyes was a death sentence? I am a woman too. We generally have the same agendas. We want to grow up be happy fall in love and raise a family. A blended family. Be thankful that your kids SM is a nice person whose fault may be that she cares too much. I want all of our six kids to feel equal so your daugters dont feel any less important than the ones that live in our home.
It takes a village to raise a child. Teach the girls to love everyone in their life and quit hurting them by not letting them be with us. Quit talking on the phone when we are speaking to the kids. Can a 7 yo not use the phone without it being monitered? You know she sees you. She says "why does mom always try to be with a man?" Why is mom never home? Why is mom angry one minute, crying the next and ignoring us the rest of the time? Why does she blame daddy and SM?
I can't think of anything else right now but I know she has really been working my nerves with the situation with my SDs who live out of state. She boasts that the 7 yo is depressed - we haven't seen them since Christmas and our family that has told us the 7 yo has gained about twenty pounds and is overweight - that with her crying spells - hurts us to no end especially when we know she isnt that way here - she wants to be here and we can provide for her.
- TheSaneOne's blog
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Learned my lesson
My advice would be to just stay out of it. Let your DH handle it. Don't send anything to the BM. It will only backfire on you and make matters worse.
No - not sending it - this
No - not sending it - this is one of those if i could be honest and tell her whatever i wanted I would say it - thats why I put it here because I have no intention on sending it. Ever
open letter
writing a letter and not sending it is GOOD therapy, sometimes when I cant sleep cuz of problems with ex or FH or even BSons I get up and write a letter to whomever, some I keep to read over and some I throw away, it gets the thougths out of my head and I can rest.
good job!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
I've written many of these...........
but like you, SaneOne, have never sent them. It's a moot point except to make ourselves feel better.
However, the last one I wrote (about a month ago) I showed to DH. It helped him see a little more clearly from my point of view....made him think....in fact, the way one part was stated..."you win, I'm done" made DH ask me if I would actually let BM cause us to divorce. I had to let him know that divorce was not part of it, that I was just REALLY, REALLY, REALLY frustrated and that I did not intend to send the letter. DH was a little freaked but sometimes that's a good thing
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"
I wrote to BM
Everytime BM calls it affects my household including myself and my children. I am sure her anger and hateful words affect hers too. I simply sent her an short email stating I did not want to bother her at work since I used her work email. I suggested BF and BM get new email addresses to use to communicate about their child and such. She emailedme back 2 days later and stated that was a good idea, thank you. Went on to say that BF needs to get over his anger towards her. BM cheated repeated on BF and when confronted with the evidence, she claims she wanted to be caught and that she was unhappy so it was okay for her to cheat. BM has never admitted she did anything wrong and feels it was okay since she was unhappy.
Anyway, I did not respond to her comments about BF. Not my place and I would not anyway since I know what she says on the phone and what she did to BF and his family. BM and BF are getting new email addresses and I am hoping this will curb at least some of the nasty phone calls.
letter to the EX
what would happen if you would send it? just wondering,i have one just waiting for a stamp on it but have not sent it, i showed my DH and he said he wished i wouldn't of showed it to him,not sure what that ment? these women really feel threatened by us, i believe that with all my heart.i'ts hard enough having a girl friend in my sons life taking my place(they broke up now)so the BM cant deal with a women in there childs life and they think we dont have the right or place to love "there" child
If I had the chance
to tell BM anything I wanted, I'd tell her to poop or get off the pot. She keeps encouraging Precious to go live with her, he keeps telling DH he's leaving, so take him already. Go for an emergency court order, come and get him, but stop threatening and JUST DO IT!
I wrote an open letter
and it didn't make me feel better, I didn't send it though....the only thing that would make me feel better is saying it to her face but I have never talked to her because I am so angered by her terrible parenting that i wouldn't be very nice in my choice of words...I would LOVE to voice to her what i think but she's my fiancee's problem.