At my wits end
Step-parent to two girls. I raised them with my husband. The birth mom has been in and out of their lives. She continues to mess with their heads by only being around when its convenient for her. She probably sees her daughters 3 times a year for about 2 to 3 days per visit. My youngest daughter has decided to take out all her frustration out on me. She is very angry and hurtful towards me.
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I so wish you could talk to
I so wish you could talk to my BF. My situation is the Exact same as yours, except its my children's dad who is out of their lives, and my daughter gives BF a hard time at times. I'm soooo thankful he is patient! I think the best thing that has helped us in this situation is to establish house rules and consequences, type them out, posted them on the fridge, we keep tallies, and whoever breaks a rule, whether that be talking back or disrespecting gets punished. All of the rules are enforced and consequences followed thru with. You and DH HAVE to be a team, that is VERY important.
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“The challenge is to help couples turn "I Do" into "We Can."
Thank you Middlemom. That is
Thank you Middlemom. That is helpful advice. I will work on writing up some house rules. Maybe if my youngest sees it in writing, she will think twice about her actions.
How old are they? That is
How old are they? That is tough as my adopted daughter acted this way toward me sometimes. With time and love and FINALLY making her biomother accountable she began to see the light. I guess what I am asking is, do they know the truth about their BM? I always said it with sensitivity, but I had to stop making excuses.
They are finally old enough,
They are finally old enough, where they are starting to see that she is not the perfect person they make her out to be. My husband and I never speak badly about the BM, but if we talk about situations that go wrong when they are with her - to ask if they are ok, they get very very defensive. Even when we try to be as calm and non judgmental as possible, they (our daughters) make every excuse in the book as to why their BM could not be perfect at all times. Its usually a large combination of excuses that don't make sense. But they need to do it to justify why the birth mom is not perfect and to make sense in their minds as to why she messed up.
Gosh, I know that makes so
Gosh, I know that makes so much sense. But its scary to think that I have to raise this kid her entire child hood and have to wait until she is an adult before she realizes how good she has it. Sigh.......:-(