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Well, I am not too suprised.... (sorry... kinda long vent)

TattooedMommy's picture

My step-daughter's birthday was today. Every year we have SD for her birthday because it falls on our summer visitation. That really steams BM because she only gets to spend two hours with SD on her birthday each year.

Last year we had a pool party on her birthday and I just brought her back to our house an hour early so I could bathe her, fix her hair, put her in a brand new outfit that we just bought her, made her smell good so she was ready to go when BM came to pick her up for her two hours. When BM brought her back to us after they were done SD had chocolate cake all over the front of her brand new shirt and all over the back as well. I mean seriously... WTF???

Not only that but BM started calling our house phone and cellphones at like 11am to wish SD a happy birthday when we were at a POOL PARTY. We weren't swimming with our cellphones to make sure we didn't miss her call. It wasn't like we were trying to avoid her, we just had our own things to do at the time. She was sooo pissed when we didn't answer the phone, screaming and yelling over the answering machine about what horrible people we were. Whatever.

So... this year, we had SD's birthday party yesterday so it didn't interfere with today and BM's time with her. BM called early this morning to wish her a happy birthday. We put SD in the original outfit BM sent her over here in. (Funny thing... SD didn't have not one single stain on her outfit when she got back tonight) I fixed her hair, brushed her teeth, made her smell good, and sent her out the front door with BM. I was outside with two of my cousins when BM came back later to drop SD off. She wouldn't ever get out of the car. She sat there are her fat a$$ and sent a text message to hubby. She said "We are here. We bathed her in the bathroom at the resturant ;)" WTF??? Why did she even say that. So hubby came out and she let SD out of the van as if she couldn't let me have here.

SD told us that BM asked her if we even gave her a bath today. We bathe the children every other day instead of every single day. We bathed her last night after the pool party so we didn't feel the need to bathe her today, which we do at night before they go to bed anyways.

Apparantely SD spent her birthday time with her mother getting in trouble for calling me mommy in front of BM. (That is another long story but SD has called me mommy for about three years, on her own, and she won't call me anything else, even when asked.) And, she spent her birthday being drilled about whether she had a bath or not, and what else was going on over here. Poor little girl.

BM is just a crazy woman. I have sooo many other stories I could tell. I think I will have to tell them another time. I think this blog has been long enough. Sorry if I bored some of you, I just needed to vent and get this off my chest.

Thanks for reading.

Comments

mumzy79's picture

Just remember that hubby moved up when he met you...BM was just a bump in the road that yielded a beautiful girl... she plays these games because she feels inferior... sit back and smile because even on her best day she can't even compare to you on your worst. My skids started calling me Mom and she freaked out so for their sanity and her PAS BS I told them to call me by my first name around her...she never stops. She tells the skids she doesn't like my kids even though she has never met them and went as far as to say she hoped our BD died.. I nearly went to jail after that one cuz I almost laid her out... now I realize that it must suck to be as bitter and ugly as her and my life ROCKS! Hang in there hun!

squeegie_beckenheimer's picture

"We are here. We bathed her in the bathroom at the resturant ;)" If that isn't a "WTF?!" moment, I don't know what is!!! Is this woman in the habit of bathing her child in public restrooms?

Yeah, I would agree with mumzy79...this woman is JEALOUS.

I read your blog & sat here nodding my head. Been there! BM has done the same thing to us. Destroyed (or stole) new clothing that we supplied. So we do the same thing. Whatever BM sends SD8 in, SD8 wears back to BM. It saves so many headaches. (Except when BM sends SD8 in rags or clothes that are way too small/too big, no underwear, etc.) The worst was when BM picked up SD8 (then 6) after school on our week once & returned her to us later that night with dyed hair (this part was common...BM dyed the kids' hair constantly). But the moron dyed her hair with her clothes on, so the really cute, new shirt she was wearing now had blue hair dye stained all over it. I was livid. Amazingly, BM also dyed her other daughter's hair, but her shirt had no dye on it (it was a shirt BM supplied). Done on "accident"...yeah, right!

BM pulls the same b.s. as yours does. Making it look like you haven't done something you should have (like the bathing), when in fact, you had done it. The best is when BM looks like an idiot for opening her big mouth trying to start trouble. This past fall, there was running fundraiser at the school. We had the kids, so my husband took them. BM was supposed to show up, even though she never has in the past...this year it was all about impressing the new boyfriend with what a great mother she is. (I didn't feel like going & dealing with BM, though I should have.) So, BM shows up late, as usual, and catches the end of former SD11's run. (Which FSD11 was upset about because BM PROMISED she'd be there & when the run started, no BM.) So BM is then upset because FSD11 ran in her Crocs.

My husband: All she has are Crocs.

BM: No, she has other shoes. They're at my house. (Uh...how does this help us NOW?)

Meanwhile, FSD11 is silent, not saying anything. She doesn't confirm that she has other shoes because she knows that her "other shoes" are her school shoes from last year (which we bought) that no longer fit her. BM & FSD11's father are supposed to supply clothes, shoes, etc., but BM drops the ball every year & we end up buying stuff for FSD11 because we don't want her to go without. FSD11's father would supply EVERYTHING if he knew that she needed it, but FSD11 always tells him that she has all she needs, which is an outright lie. FSD11 was paranoid, I think, that if her father found out that BM never bought her anything she needed, he would confront BM. And no one is allowed to confront or question BM! A few times, I contacted FSD11's father directly to tell him that she needed stuff, but it would all end up at BM's & we'd never see any of it. (And FSD11 would be angry with me for doing this.)

So, when it finally sinks in that FSD11 ran in Crocs & it was BM's fault, BM tries to make us look bad. She grabs SD8's foot & studies the bottom of the sneaker.

BM: Looks like these shoes are getting pretty worn!

SD8: These are brand new shoes, Mommy!

LOL! My husband wanted to laugh, but held it in until he told me the story. And yes, SD8's sneakers had been worn about a month at this point. BM is such an idiot!

beautystepmom's picture

im new here, and my 4 yr old stepsons biomom is terrible about stupid stuff like this!!!! i know just what you are talking about!

TattooedMommy's picture

I am really glad that I found this site. It makes me feel really good to know that I am not the only one with a crazy BM. Sorry, since that kinda means that I am happy to see you girls going through the same crap. Lol. She is insane. She is constantly stalking my MySpace trying to see what I am writing or doing. She can't stand me at all. When DH and I first moved in together she started denying him visitation of SD telling him that as long as I was there SD wouldn't be. We went to the AG and got a visitation order and that was the end of that, although it wasn't the end of her bs. She makes herself out to be this perfect person, acts like she has the perfect life, perfect husband, etc... and acts like our lives are horrible, and our relationship is terrible. In all actuality... she is the one with the crummy life, crummy relationship, etc. This is getting more carried away than I expected it to.... I have to remember to put these in blogs instead of griping in comments.

Oh... and I can't believe other BM's actually dye their children's hair... and on a regular basis. Just about everytime I see my SD (during the summer of course since the schools won't allow it) she has different colored hair. Seriously... pink, purple, green... you name it she has done it. And it makes us look bad. We constantly get stares from people in public like "why would you do that to your daughter's hair", "don't you know what that will do to her hair"? And it is even worse when we have all the kiddos with us (BD6, BD1.5, and BS5. BD6 & BS5 are mine from a previous marriage). Since we don't dye the other children's hair people look at us like we are playing favorites or something. Lol.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

squeegie_beckenheimer's picture

Finding this website has been a lifesaver. Seeing that others are dealing with the same nonsense is such a wonderful feeling. Not that they have to go through this crap, too, but that someone out there understands!!! Smile

Yup, BM used to dye the kids' hair constantly. It thankfully stopped over the last year or so, when BM stopped streaking her dark brown hair pink because she had to get a real job.

My husband told me that before I came along, when his former SD11 (then around 7 maybe) was about to start a new school, BM dyed her strawberry blonde hair blue. Former SD was completely horrified. She was so worried about what the kids at her new school would say, she tried to wear a hat all day. Poor kid! It makes you wonder why a MOTHER would do this to her children. I know she wants them to be different, but being different doesn't mean they have to LOOK different!

One time, BM dyed SD8's hair (she was about 4...yes, 4-years-old!) just before my husband's father & stepmother came to visit. Now, you'd have to know my husband's stepmother (SM). She's like a drill sergeant! Very no-nonsense & tells it like it is. I love her! BM HATED her...and SM hated BM. So when SM saw SD's hair, she flipped her lid & continuously washed SD's hair until all the dye came out. Gotta love it!