Parent-Teacher Evening Dilemma
First of all I want to point out that I go to parent-teacher evenings for 2 reasons: 1)I want whats best for SD6- BM has 5 kids and does very little homework/reading with them so when SD is here with us I always try to do educational activities with her. The second reason is my bf asked me to go.
Last year BM created a HUGE argument about me going to the parent-teacher evening- she pulled every trick in the book...said the school wouldnt let me, said Im nothing to do with SD etc etc. In the end my bf phoned up the school and arranged a separate appointment for us to go- of course BM was not happy with this but it happened anyway. At the parent-teacher evening a lot of things came up which we were not aware of...SD NEVER hands in homework, is quite far behind, has a poor attendance record...if BM had come to the meeting with us we would never have found this out because obviously the teacher wouldn't want to criticise BM in her presence!!
Anyway today BM has phoned up and said its parent-teacher evening next week and said I am more than welcome to come!!! Clearly she is only doing this because she doesnt want my bf having a meeting without her being there- because that way she doesnt know what has been said.
The question is should we all go to the same appointment (and not get an accurate account of SD's progress) or should we make our own separate appointment? The only thing is BM has a habit of using SD as a weapon so Im worried if we make a separate appointment she may say we cant see SD in the summer break- visitation was arranged informally and not through a court.
Would really appreciate some advice xxx
- sweetness01's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I'd go all together.
I'd go all together. Regardless of whether the teacher will be as direct with her present wont really matter. Either there has been grade and attendance improvement, or there hasnt. If there hasnt then the question as to why will be asked and the teacher will have to explain where the struggles lie. It will still come out. It wont be as blatant. I have learned that BM wants to look good in front of me because she feels like it's a competition. (its so not) She might commit to improving with studies and attendence if you are there to save face. At the very least she will know that you know and that will affect her confidence as "superior BM" and make her want to improve so that you dont "out-mom" her. Go and let her make excuses for why SKID isnt getting work in, or showing up. Let her feel stupid while she's making these excuses. Maybe it will even cause some improvement.
I would do both. Make your
I would do both. Make your appointment with the teacher for after your group appointment. BM doesn't even need to know you are having the second one.