Well, I have read many of your individual blogs about things that have happened that I have been through but some of you are now approaching issues that I must say I hadn't considered such as the coed sleepover stuff and such. I nor my husband go for that sort of thing, nor for any of the drinking under age either. There will be plenty of time for that later in life. I can recall those moments when my stepdaughter thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread and these days she has no use for me or her father. The comments and her behavior have shattered both of us. I always hoped that those idealistic moments of when the kids were smaller would somehow transfer over through their teen years but with the shared custody arrangements, it is pretty inevitable that someone ends up being the odd man out.
You try and pep yourself up and tell yourself it's going to be okay, and there's only x amount of time left, but it doesn't ever really resolve the hurt. My stepdaughter and her friends went to visit St. Mary's College which is one that my husband and I encouraged her about years earlier because it wouldn't have been too far from home. (in MD) Now, of course, everything has changed. And then, on the flip side, I can look at a photo album of my stepdaughter and I making rice krispie treats together when she was about 9. I've had the ingredients to made the rice krispie treats on my countertop for about a month now but just can't bring myself to make them. Maybe it's the finality of it all.
I know for sure that I have to move on and put everything in the past behind me. I can't try and hold on to the old baggage. My stepdaughter will never be sorry for what she has done and my husband and I will likely never forget what happened. The sun has been out and I am determined to be a part of the spring season with the blooming flowers bobbing in the gentle breeze.
I have beautiful rows of red tulips among purple pansies among my landscaping. My dogwoods are all flowering. Something good has to be coming and I have to have that kind of faith that it will happen. My puppy is slowly on the mend...the sores look awful but we are going back to our regular country vet today and he takes care of us much better. I'll finish the day off with getting my car maintenanced (to get my husband off my back) and I made a Dr.'s appt for next week. I hope all of you have a great weekend and that it is pleasant and peaceful.
Regards,
Sweetie