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Ugh - MIL and guilt trips

strugglingSM's picture

So, DH hasn't seen SSs since June becuse first BM planned her vacation over his weekend and then when they returned from that, MIL whisked them off for two weeks with her. 

Today, MIL texts DH and says, "overly dramatic SS says he hasn't seen you in over a month. You need to plan a special outing with them when they get home." Why does everything always have to be a "special outing"? Also, why does DH have to make up for BM and MIL's penchant for scheduling over DH's time?

Comments

diver111's picture

MIL needs to mind her own business. My MIL does the same thing. A birthday gift got there one day late, and she gave DH a guilt trip over that - what is she, the birthday police?

It's your MIL's opinion that SS needs a special outing, and needs to keep it to herself. I'm sure your DH is well aware how long it's been since he has seen him. But will DH say anything to her - like "thanks for the concern, Mom, but I've got this."

strugglingSM's picture

Yeah, MIL has a lot of opinions that should really just be kept to herself. Every time I've been alone with her she says something to me that makes me want to either laugh in her face or scream because it oversteps some boundary...so now I just avoid being alone with her...

SteppedOut's picture

I think I would point that FACT out, but my bullshit bucket is heaping full. No more room for that kinda sh!t. 

strugglingSM's picture

At my "suggestion", DH replied to MIL and told her that he hadn't seen Skids in a month because BM and then MIL scheduled over his weekends. MIL then replied and said, "I wasn't trying to blame you, I just wanted to tell you that the kids miss you." Um, okay, MIL, they're in high school, so I think they can tell DH themselves. Also, why does DH have to take them on a "special outing" to make up for other people's scheduling? Skids are now entering their third week of vacation, do they really need any more "special outings"? It always becomes DH's responsibility to make up for all the issues BM and MIL create...at least in MIL's mind. She also feels the need to point out the obvious to DH, as if he doesn't know the kids miss him and as if he doesn't miss the kids. She never cleared these two weeks with him. She only shared the details with BM. She even scheduled the trip over DH's birthday. I'm sick of the lack of consideration and the complete triangulation. Also, MIL knows what would happen if DH contacted BM and asked for more time...BM would tell DH how she did him a favor by allowing MIL to take the kids for two weeks and she (BM) didn't owe him more time. The only way BM gives more time is if she wants to unload the kids because she has something to do. I'm so over the drama from these two women. 

Also, MIL is spending thousands of dollars on this trip for SSs, but she gave my child a used book and some weird clothes that went straight to goodwill for Christmas. She also repeatedly reminds DH that he "has three children" when she doesn't always comment that BIL has "two children", so I'm a bit over her from that perspective as well. In all of her texts about SSs she has never once asked about her other grandchild (our daughter). 

Lady.Tremaine's picture

Sort of funny

Considering it was partially her fault in the first place that your DH didn't see his kid. 

 

 

strugglingSM's picture

It's hilarious actually because MIL can't even see that. She should be apologizing to DH rather than trying to make him feel bad.

Esperanza's picture

What's with the crazy MILs! What a PITA. 
She seriously needs to mind her own business. 
Sigh