BM wants DH to pay for car insurance
Over a year ago, DH paid for SSs to enroll in driver's ed. They are now both eligible to get their driver's licenses. One has gotten his and the other has failed the written test twice.
Last year, BM also sent DH a message telling him that she told both SSs that she would match whatever money they saved, so they could buy cars. DH told her at that time that he was not in a financial position to support any car purchases. He also told SSs that he didn't have the money to buy them a car, but has been giving them cash for presents (e.g. Christmas, birthday), with the expectation that it would go towards their car savings.
In the end, they didn't save money and BM bought them both cars anyway. One of them has a car that is worth over $20K (it is former stepdad's car that BM is still paying for). So, now that one has his license, BM is realizing how much it will cost to insure two teen drivers and she wants DH to pitch in. The answer will again be no, especially since DH would not have gotten SS such an expensive car, so why should he have to pay to insure such an expensive car.
Also, both SSs are 16 and employers everywhere are desperate for workers. Neither has any plans for the summer. It's a perfect time for them to both go out and find jobs. My parents gave me my mother's old car (it had actually been my sister's car before it was mine) with the understanding that I paid for all insurance, gas, and repairs. I also had to share the car with my sister, who was away at college when I got my license. Of course, I had been working for almost two full years by the time I got my license...
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I paid for my 1st car, too, and it was a total POS.
LoL I hate to be a "kids today" sort of person, but seriously... it's like there are literally just no more expectations or responsibilities and the world just freaking owes them. I hope your DH doesn't cave to BM's ridiculous nonsense.
It's definitely that way for
It's definitely that way for my skids. One of them said, "dad, mom got us cars for our birthday, what are you getting us?" DH replied that he wasn't going to get them cars. One of them said, "you got a new car, dad!" As if that somehow means he's supposed to buy the kid a car, too?! I pointed out to skid that DH's new car (a 10 year old car that replaced DH's 20 year old car), was actually my father's car that gifted to us after my father passed away unexpectedly...but really, why is the kid entitled to a car because DH got a car?! Is that how life works these days?
Nope, That is what CS is for.
CS is 100% of the NCPs obligation to provide for their prior relationship progeny unless otherwise stipulated in the CO.
NO is a full sentence and... ends a conversation.
So.... NO!
Lol - if only CS was the only
Lol - if only CS was the only obligation. But yes, the answer from DH is no.
Legal obligation.
Which should be it until the kid reaches the age of majority if the X is toxic.
Skids have paid for their own
Skids have paid for their own car insurance since they have had their licenses. That was the deal.
SS17 and SS18 got them May of 2021. SS18 was too immature to be driving at 16 plus kept getting in trouble. He got enrolled in drivers ed with SS17 when he turned 16.
SO gave them 2500 for a car anything over that was on them.
No 16 year old should be driving a 20k IMO.
I agree on the 20K car. SS's
I agree on the 20K car. SS's car is worth more than DH's car and my car, which we both use for long daily commutes. DH was also mad because it has either a V6 or a V8 and he thought that was too powerful a car for a teen and SS would get into an accident.
Growing up in the coastal beach suburbs in Australia
I knew many who grew up in affluent suburbs living in homes that were over $1million dollars and worth 2million now. Parents were well off, senior jobs and sometimes wife was a housewife. They bought their kid an old bomb (car thats 20-30yrs old) to drive when they passed their licence and they were expected to get part timr casual jobs when in school and university to help pay for insurance, fuel etc.
they also gpt charged rent of $50 per week to cover groceries, laundry, water electricity. It was their parents teaching them the basics that money doesn't grow on trees. Unfortunately those who think they just order mummy or daddy and exhubby to habd over cash for ongoing expenses they are perfectly capable of earning through a job will lack important life skills.
i was in fulltime employment and got a loan to buy my sports car. I also lived at home but covered groceries, pet food and litter for cats, their vet expenses and telephone/internet bills along with my car insurance etc. the extent of me living at home from a traditional asian/European parents/family depended on me being in full time employment/studies or part time employment in conjunction with part time studies working towards university studies. There was no bumming and freeloading through life.
this is one of the things my dad loves about me is i have never stopped caring about him since 15 yrs ago and i live 20mins away from him and still do weekly or fortnightly grocery shopping for him for convenience as he's 85 yrs old already
BM claims they are paying for
BM claims they are paying for their own gas...but they must be using money she gives them for an "allowance" because neither one has a source of income. Several years ago, SSs told DH that BM gives them $200 a month for allowance...although I'm not sure how factual that is.
Them paying for their own gas means they earn their
Own income and pay it themselves. When bio mum is handing out money and they buy gas from that allowance, its biomum paying for gas.
if bio mum is not gonna be responsible enough, make executive decisions and go into debt for purchasing these cars, so be it. She needs to learn the hard way
This sounds like a BM problem
This sounds like a BM problem. I mean how do you dig yourself into a hole and get mad at someone else while you keep digging.
Nope nope nope.
I know...she told DH that she
I know...she told DH that she is paying $361 a month to insure both cars, but really, she could save a lot of insurance money if a) they had to share a car; and b) one didn't have a really expensive car. Also, no proof was offered, but she wanted DH to agree that he would pay $150 a month for six months. Um, no.
She also supposedly gave the one without the $20K car, $5k in cash because his car was worth less...so, why can't he use that cash to pay for his insurance?
I got a car when I was
I got a car when I was sixteen, but only because it was paid for with money left me by my late father. No way would my mother and SF have bought one for me. It got a whopping eight miles per gallon, and I worked after school and weekends to pay for gas and insurance. I kept that classic American muscle car until a few years into my marriage, when I overheard my FIL asking my DH which skid would get my car when they were old enough to drive. I immediately sold it.
None of my skids drove until they were eighteen, because neither bio parent could afford to buy them a car and I wasn't going to do it. These days, it's just very expensive to have a minor behind the wheel. I've written before about how I allowed YSD to drive my second vehicle at eighteen, only to discover she'd been lying about paying the insurance on it as agreed. I took her keys and donated it to charity.
I'm sorry for what you have to deal with, OP. Your BM is a PASing idiot raising selfish, entitled sons.
Lol - your FIL is terrible.
Lol - your FIL is terrible. Who would assume that a kid would just get to drive someone's car.
Right?
The audacity! Why would I simply give away a valuable classic car? Why would I give a car to someone else's kid, especially if I wasn't even close with them? And if I were going to give a new teen driver a car, why would I give them a dangerously powerful sports car? Too, too ridiculous.
My late FIL had some very strange ideas regarding parenting, especially the parenting of girls.
Cars and driving are a case by case combo IMHO.
I got my permit at 15 but did not get my DL until I was 18. I was in boarding school and all transportation was provided. I had been driving since I was in my early teens and riding motorcycles since I was 6yo. The mechanics nor ability were the issue. I just had no reason to drive.
I had a loaner vehicle from my Granddad from18-19 and my HS graduation gift was my first car. A beautiful classic 18yo muscle car.
My brother got his license and his first car at 16. It was either that or I had to schlep he and his friends around. That he had a car at 16 irritated me at first. I changed my tune on that in a hurry when it was made clear that I had to be his ride. His was also a classic muscle car though only 10yo when he got it.
My Skid got his license and first car at 18. Again, no need for a car. He was either with us or on SpermLand visitation.
The case by case variables are fairly extensive. Need, financial condition, kid readiness, kid capability, vehicle availability, kid judgement, is the kid responsible, is the kid deserving, etc... Applied to a blended family situation and more variables drop in. Related to the opposition side of the equation.