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Am I being used?

Struggling Step Mom's picture

ok, my SD who is extremely self centered and who struts around like the rest of us are below her has been very respectful. Mind you I had to spend a bunch of money on her getting her dress and shoes for our wedding. It was all about her last weekend, buying things, having fittings, everything....I was almost sick the thought of spending all this time with her because quite frankly she is a little bi*&ch 99% of the time. But to my surprise, she was wonderful asking my advice etc. My DH is bringing her home for a couple of extra days tonight and I don't want her to come. Mainly because I am soooooo scared that now that she got everything she wanted last weekend, she will go right back to the way she was and I will feel resentful and manulipulated. I will feel like an ass being "had" by a 12 year old.....can't I live in my 'she is happy about the wedding, and can't wait for us to be a huge family' bubble another week????? He just doesn't understand what he is doing.
After the way she acted at Christmas, I promised myself I would never spend my hard earned money on her until she stopped acting like a spoiled brat, it was so bad, I wanted to take all her presents from her....she acted like a 2 year old and we gave her way too much that she "expected" Now I go and do it again....
well, I guess the next couple of days will tell the tale.

Comments

new evil stepmom's picture

but now that the spending is finished for the wedding you should pull back. leave everything from this point on the responsibility of her bio parents and refuse to do anything that they are responsible for. also, ignore the SD don't be mean just act as if she doesn't exist. she will then eventually come to you and respect you. you do not deserve to be treated like a doormat and this approach will hopefully remedy that doormat feeling.

i was given this advice myself from a very good friend of mine who has a degree in psychology and it is working perfectly. when i started acting on this advice, i felt a tremendous weight lift from my shoulders and i don't feel used anymore. it is still in the preliminary stages so i am not sure how it will end up, but my SD is noticing that i do not speak to her and is wondering why. when she asks me, i will tell her that my feelings were hurt by her behavior/actions and my not speaking to her and taking her places is a consequence of her behavior etc.

that is enough dribble for now,
good luck!
-Lori