Parent Signatures
Recently BM sent DH an email and a text message regarding me signing SD6 homework. DH ignored the first email and (because we have been through a lot with BM) broke down after the text message. I took it upon myself to call BM and ask her why it is so important that I NOT sign homework. Her answer: I don’t know why it bothers me so much. We had a conversation for about an hour. I got off the phone thinking we had resolved this issue…that as long as it wasn’t permission slips for field trips or medical records it was not big deal for me to sign. So, I continued signing. The next time I signed it…I got a text message…”Please stop signing things for the girls as a parent”. Are you kidding me? I sent her one back saying that I thought we had resolved this…her only response was that she doesn’t care, she doesn’t want me signing as a parent. I responded by saying – I think you are being ridiculous. I haven’t heard anything back. It happened a couple of days ago. How do I handle this? I’m not going to stop signing homework for my SD. I help her with it and I witness her doing it. Does anyone else have this problem? Any suggestions would be very beneficial.
- stpmommyof2's blog
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Comments
I don't have this problem.
I don't have this problem. All I can say is keep signing your full name as big as you can. She can't stop this. You are SD's stepmother whether BM likes it or not. Have you talked to the teacher about this?
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
On homework, no. She can't
On homework, no. She can't make her stop. She can just annoy them and become a pita to deal with.
On permission slips? She can. SP are not legal guardians unless they are actual legal guardians in which case there likely wouldn't be an angry BP to protest.
To the original blogger - If you want things to be better, stop signing the homework. It's trivial and nonsensical to pick that as a piece of ground you really need to defend to the death.
If you want to spite BM and continue fighting, sign away. I'm not sure what good you get from signing that outweighs the annoyance of having BM blow up your husband's phone.
She's being really petty and
She's being really petty and childish! It would be no different if you were a tutor. It's not like you're signing as a parent either. Tell her to take you to court for it or call the school to ask who is legally allowed to sign it and that you want it in writing! Crazy ass bitches!!! Is it just me or do they really get crazy around the start of the Holiday season???
No one can make you feel inferior with your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt
Just ignore her. It will
Just ignore her. It will save you all alot of drama.
Oh... the ol' parent
Oh... the ol' parent signature deal. YES. I have this problem. Not to the extreme that BM has told me not to sign (which I would anyways, the school paperwork has me listed as STEPMOM, therefore, I AM a parent).
BM always tries to get to the homework packet before us. (which only happens when SHE picks him up from school on Fridays) Now... it is supposed to be signed when the homework is COMPLETE, but she will just sign it... and not have home complete ANY homework. I don't understand this one. As long as the kids are getting their homework done, who cares who signs it??? Seriously, my ex has had everyone sign that from his MOM, to his room mate. Whoever helped them with their homework and checked it over for them. It is one of those control things. Keep signing... just ignore her.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )
As a SM who until recently,
As a SM who until recently, DH had sole custody, I would sign anything. My DH gave me authorization to sign as he was the sole guradian, and would be oot. BM was one who couldn't sign permission slips for various things since she did not have custody, only visitation.
Now, they have joint, DH have primary physical. I stopped signing things just to keep the peace. It is not worth it to hear the complaining when I can just get my DH to sign it (or I do his signature pretty good, so I even have signed his name on permission forms when he is oot and he asks me to sign :jawdrop: ) In the long run, if it keeps my DH from getting nasy emails/texts, etc... I just assume do whatever I can to prevent those. Even after being their SM for 8 years.
Stpmom - Honestly, I don't
Stpmom - Honestly, I don't think she should be making a big deal about this, but on the other hand, it was mighty big of her to admit that it bothered her, even if she didn't know why. I could completely respect that. If I were in this position, based on the fact that we were able to talk and she admitted to this insecurity to me, I would gladly step aside from signing and allow DH to sign these papers. If DH isn't around then leave it blank for BM to sign.
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Just ask the teacher if it
Just ask the teacher if it matters, preferrably in writing through an email or note, and show BM her response, which will most likely be a big fat "Nope"!
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
I had this problem and still
I had this problem and still do. I still sign the paper and I asked the teacher and the principal and they both said "not a problem" in fact the principal asked me why I was even asking because he thought that I was the parent and she was the step-parent because I'm the one who is actually involved.
Tell her that the paper has to be signed and that you are signing it as a step-parent and not pretending to be his parent. If Someone like her sister or brother or whatever signed it, it would probably not be a problem.
just an opinion
I think it is just a power
I think it is just a power play and manipulation on BM part. The reason why she can't, no, won't explain why it bothers her, is because it is irrational and has no basis and she knows it, and also is reserving the right to be arbitrary because she is the birthmom, but still wants to control you, the child and the situation, even at your house.
If the teacher and school don't care, I would sign if there is no other option and she can bust a gut or whatever she needs to do. Its not like you are wearing her wedding dress or nursing her child, ya know? Jeez.
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2My Dh signs stuff for my son
My Dh signs stuff for my son all the time. Why wouldn't he? He IS my son's parent. He's not a bio, but he's a parent all the same. Actually, he's more of a parent than my x has ever been.
Sign a way honey, and don't listen to the nay sayers!
I agree with SMJ. You are
I agree with SMJ. You are her parent....I sign off on homework for SD too. It is not a legal paper--SD wanted me to sign on a letter sent home and I told her that BPs have to sign that one. BM has never said anything and she shouldn't. I help her with homework I sign off on it--no big deal.
I believe that she dislikes you so much that she doesn't even want to see your name on things. That is that reason, she won't tell you the reason becuz she knew what a baby she was being.