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Disengaging from BM

Storm76's picture

I made a decision this weekend, that whilst I'm still going to be very much engaged with SS10, as far as BM is concerned I just don't want to know!

She managed to get me going three times this weekend, without me even seeing her, once when I discovered she booked SS10 onto a half day course on a weekend we're supposed to have him, once when she turned down our offer to swap days around so she could have him on mother's day (what mum doesn't want to see her only child on mother's day???) and once when she was still in bed at 10am in the morning, and SS10 got a sharp knife in the foot cos it had been left out in the kitchen all night!

However, by letting her get to me like this I'm not going to achieve anything - I can say to my OH how frustrated I am, but I can never change how she is.

Therefore, I'm going to disengage from BM completely, whenever she is mentioned the fingers are in the ears and I'm singing (metaphorically speaking). The one caveat here is obviously if I feel SS10's welfare is at stake, which sometimes I think it is.

I know it's not going to be easy because I'm basically trying to change the way I think, and I'll probably have to bite my tongue to not comment on things or ask questions about why. Wish me luck!


Abalyn's picture

Good luck! That was seriously the only thing that saved my sanity! You have to get your partner on board too. Make sure he doesn't mention her at all unless it is information you need to know.

Last-Wife's picture

I'm with you. I disengaged a little in December, but on Feb. 19 she pushed me to my absolute limit. I blocked her from my cell. So even if she tries to call, she can't. She started borrowing friends' phones to call me, so I don't answer any unknown number.

The last 2 weeks have been heaven!
"I HAD to pick the road less traveled..."