Separated & appreciating...

... peace & calm, as DH agreed to move out temporarily. No mantrums, love-bombing, or daily infomercials on newly-purchased expensive stuff (specific outdoor/sport activity equipment & gear, think REI on steroids). No anxiety counting down until DH comes home, because he's not here. Rented a place from his friend, temporary but at least he's gone.

I just re-read some of my 2018, 19 & 20 blogs... DAMN! So glad I wrote it where its preserved & recorded here on ST. So much emotional, verbal & financial abuse. So many mean things said/yelled at me. So much accusation & resentment coming at me. All of course interspersed with love-bombing & praise... not to mention triangulation with failed 1st & 2nd families (I'm the 3rd wife, my 1st & only marriage).

It's a process but I am working on getting free from my failed marriage - the official (but not legal/public) death of my marriage was in May 2019; when I was repeatedly told "Eff you, get a divorce, I'm getting the [midlife crisis] car!" one day as I humiliated myself by begging he please not go forward with that as real estate & retirement are priorities. To me, at least. Getting DH out was 1st step. I am relieved & exhausted, not sleeping well.

He called two nights ago & right away sobbed, "I don't like this, I want to come home!" I had no response, and he got off the phone quick.

Thanks to all you StepTalkers who have provided encouragement & compassion. This is hard but I am trusting God to help me keep taking The Next Right Actions to become truely free from this marriage.

StepUltimate's blog
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Good!

I'm glad to hear it's going peacefully. Keep being careful and keep going thru the process. Carolyn Hax said, "The 2 things about transitions: 1) they're hard and 2) they'll pass." Keep letting us know how you're doing. Many have followed your story. Good luck.

Good for you! After the

Good for you! After the initial adjustment period, I don't think you will regret ending the marriage.

As someone who left someone

As someone who left someone similar to this, BLOCK. HIM.

If he's anything like my XH, he'll lovebomb you over the phone. He'll text that he loves you, bring you flowers, ask you out on dates to rekindle, etc. When you rebuff, you'll get his with a bunch of texts and VMs calling you every nasty name in the book. Then he'll apologize, blame it on loving you just sooooooo much and feeling sooooooooo miserable and being soooooooo broke. He'll cry, tell you he's been praying/going to church/soul-searching and he's "a different man" now. And will you please just see him one more time. And will you please just go to counseling now that he knows you were seriously unhappy and he knows he needs to change.

Just block him. I was young and dumb, and had I not already been dating DH who treated me like a goddamn human being deserving of good love, I likely would have gone back to my XH. I'm not saying what I did was healthy, but I could have avoided so much of the drama had I just blocked him, filed for divorce ASAP, and moved somewhere that he didn't know I lived. I tried too hard to be nice and it bit me. Don't make those mistakes.