How many texts does it take to be a bad mother?
You know...kind of like the "how many licks does it take to get to the center of the lollipop?"...
But seriously, how many texts a month would you say is normal? And how many texts would you say a month is interfering with your life - full time work and parenting? Now I'm talking outgoing AND incoming....which I would assume are somewhere in relation to each other as you typically respond to any incoming.
After I hear some answers I will share why I'm asking
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I think texting is the way
I think texting is the way kids communicate today....I talk and answer my kids all day on facebook when they are in the same house! LOL I am a good mom but this is how they do it now...they do not walk 2 houses down to see a friend, they text them...My daughter is in Vegas now visiting my mom and my mom asked me why she and I text and message so much...my daughter does not want to miss out on what is going on at home. she wants to have a good time but when she misses us she will text me something like "Can you make fried chicken when I come home"? then I answer her "of course"! It helps her have something to look forward to and enjoy her time away too.... I think it is healthy and okay....provided the mother is not getting involved in what is happening at your house... so if the child gets in trouble with you and texts her mom and her mom calls the dad and a huge uproar comes because you asked the sd to take out the trash.... we had this problem and had to stop it right away....then it is a bad thing... i hope I answered the question LOL!
What I'm asking is how many
What I'm asking is how many texts does it take a day to make you someone that is not fulfilling their responsibilities/roles? Specifically, being a BM and having your 3 and 6 year old kids 5 days a week and working full time but having a ridiculous amount of texts in one billing cycle? I mean her thumbs must be glued to her phone.
OHHHHH okay, I get it....So
OHHHHH okay, I get it....So it is more a matter of stop texting and take care of you children sort of thing.... yeah, not many I would think... I really only text the kids and hubby....
Hmmm... well, I dunno. Are we
Hmmm... well, I dunno. Are we talking about texting in general to anyone? Because I text A LOT. I mean A LOT, and I have 2 biokids and 1 step. But if we are talking about texting the EX, that is a different story. I texted him MAYBE once a week, and only if I have a question, or HAVE to tell him something regarding the kids. And when I say HAVE to, I mean HAVE to like they are sick, or there is a change in the pick up or drop off routine. Which is RARE.
In general (not to a specific
In general (not to a specific person) is what I'm asking...I'd love to know what you consider "a lot"!!
Like how many a month on average?
ummm, hundreds maybe more.
ummm, hundreds maybe more. But I NEVER talk on the phone. I it is easier for me to send a one line response in a text than to get my sister (for example) on the phone and get stuck in a 45 minute conversation. Even if we text back and for 40 times, that is way less time consuming than an hour long phone call. And I can take my time in responding, or text while I am sitting out the pool with my kids watching them. I am a texter.
WOW, I just looked at my
WOW, I just looked at my phone bill. You got me curious. I have 3 days left in my billing cycle and I have a total of 1942 texts. That is incoming and outgoing. I would say I am excessive. But I don't think it effects my parenting skills. Maybe my work ethic LOL, since I do text at work. But so does my boss, so I think I am ok.
I do agree that's a lot
I do agree that's a lot compared to what I use (althoug I wouldn't say excessive) but read below for why I posted this!!!
I don't know I hate texting
I don't know I hate texting and do it as little as possible - I would say 200 a month is a lot!! Am I close?!?!?!
Really? You have only had one
Really? You have only had one phone conversation with your SO. That has to be some sort of a record!!!
I'm speechless! Pardon the
I'm speechless! Pardon the pun
I text my kids A LOT as they
I text my kids A LOT as they are teens and hardly home. It is a way for me to know where they are and what is going on. Now I normally only text them a lot! But I do text my dh a LOT during the day he has a job that he can text but that is really all he can do. I do text my sister and my mom moderately. But I don't really text friends. But I think I will guess I text about 1000 a month. Mainly b/c I text my dh and kids a lot!
Yeah, I'd say it's different
Yeah, I'd say it's different if you text your kids, but if your kids don't have phones yet and you text about 9,000 a month that's crazy!
I don't know. I bet a lot of
I don't know. I bet a lot of people would look at my phone log and say I'm a crappy mom. But I have learned to let the phone ring, force most people to leave messages, and then respond to what I find the pertinent parts via text.
But I know what you mean about excessive texting. SS13 texts non stop. I have to tell him sometimes to put that phone up and get his work done or I'm taking it!
On the same note, how many hours of Angry Birds does it take to make a bad parent? Because DH is really getting onto my nerves with that crap. Also, it irritates me when people linger in the bathroom because they're on the web with their smartphone. Get outta there for Christ Sake already!
Oh man...Angry birds!! For my
Oh man...Angry birds!! For my FDH it's YouTube. He loves to sing so he's constantly looking up cool covers of songs and learning to play them on his guitar and then comparing them, etc....but he can waste hours doing that a NIGHT! Arrrgg!
I agree! It can be very
I agree! It can be very convenient!
I personally despise texting.
I personally despise texting. I get pissed trying to push the tiny buttons. I prefer to just make a phone call & say what I need to say.
That said, I understand that there are people who prefer texting over talking. I don't think it's fair or accurate to place a "BAD PARENT" label on someone based on the number of texts they send/receive.
I know...I am being a little
I know...I am being a little facetious
I wouldn't report her to CPS for it.
I don't know-all I know is
I don't know-all I know is that I just really despise todays way of 'life'-people (adults, kids and teens) are becoming completely socially stunted..and it will get worse. It honestly truly disgusts me, I won't lie.
As to OP question-I guess it depends on how much time is spent texting vs parenting.
I do text, to my bf or friends on ocassions-used to use it more until I realized how absolutely wrong it is to approach time TALKING to our loved ones as obtrusive, bothersome, inconvenient-when technology became better then relationships... And YES I worked for YEARS at a call center.
It's this society now-I don't like it, never will, don't have to accept it and be a part of it. I can chose good ole' inconvenient bothersome REAL conversations over todays socially stunted techonology advances. FB and text your kids in the same house? I thought I heard it all lol- Between the new "permissive parenting" as Auteur says....and this "techonology advances" lack of social skills we are modeling for our kids...I am not looking forward to see the 'fruit' of the new generation anymore.
The other odd thing is people say "at least I know where/what they are doing at all times"....since when did the rest of the world care or even OUR parents what/where we are at 24/7 as we were getting older...(aka FB updates-twitter)....do parents really model/foster independence by knowing/following what there kids are doing 24/7.
I remember the days of my childhood (and I"m NOT old)- there were real conversations, dinners together, we didn't have cell phones....if as a teen/tween we were out of site for a couple hrs and parents knew where we were-that was ENOUGH for them and we didn't share w/them our every move, shit and sandwich preference..it's this just strange lack of boundaries...excessive technology, sharing, emeshment with our children, helicopter parenting, overscheduling our kids... and lack of real connecting time, being a kid time....it's just all so strange and unhealthy and sad to watch honestly.
I remember calling my mom on
I remember calling my mom on the payphone when it was between the 3rd and 4th quarters of the basketball game I cheered at so I could get a ride...

Okay I gotta spill the beans
Okay I gotta spill the beans now. Please don't flame me for this because it was originally an accident. We got our Verizon bill and FDH opened it. Well he immediately realized it was BM's BILL! For some reason it came to our house...we've gotten these in the past and told her that they're still sending her mail to our house so we htought she changed it but apparently not. (she used to live here...um 3 years ago!)
Anyway, so of course he looks at it. I am NOT exaggerating here, NOT ONE BIT.
Her OUTGOING texts were 4,593
INCOMING were 4,799
Picture msgs were 107
So...let's do some math. That is 313 texts a DAY (in/out) in a 30 day month. She had the skids almost all last month except Fri/Sat each weekend. And they are 3 and 6. And she works full time.
It's mind-blowing to me!
I guarantee that my SD21 has
I guarantee that my SD21 has her beat as far texting goes. All she does is sit her ass on the couch and text while her 2 yr old runs around our house tearing up everything.
I'm not sure. But I do know
I'm not sure. But I do know that our BM is on the phone A LOT. SD tells us her Mommy is always on her phone. She never pays attention to her kid. It's her phone, or the computer. She is too preoccupied with her social life to properly attend to her child.