Anyone have an SO with a very heavy work schedule? How do you deal?
I'm 30 weeks pregnant right now and feeling stressed and overwhelmed about everything, so I'm trying to determine whether it's the hormones or something real I can change. DH and I have BS3 together and then every other week we have his kids (7 and 9). DH works straight commission sales, so he works many more hours than he is scheduled to work for fear of losing a sale, or his day is based on appointments that are sometimes really long. I know he's a very hard worker and I feel bad making him feel guilty at all, because I know that he'd much rather be at home than at work. But there at least two nights a week where he is scheduled to work until 8pm, and then there are other nights where he is stuck with a customer so he is forced to work later than 6, too.
This means that no matter what, every week day, I'm always the one who picks up the kids from daycare/after school care, does the dinner/homework thing, bathing, chores, etc. Of course, on the off weeks when all I have is my son, it's not a daunting task. But when you add two more to the mix (and soon to be 3 more), basically I feel like I get to do all the NOT FUN parenting stuff. Then DH gets to come home, often just in time for the fun part -- going to bed and reading books and snuggling with the kids and they're all happy to see him of course! He hasn't had to be the bad guy whatsoever (besides the fact that he's not there).
I'm growing frustrated and feel like maybe I should suggest a new visitation schedule...one that works around his scheduled work time (even though that isn't always the case). With another baby on the way, I think it might be the only method to keep my own sanity! BM has been rather flexible in the past with things like this....BUT I also know that it's going to reflect on me directly. I'm afraid it will make me look like I don't want the kids, or I simply "can't handle it" or just in general that I'm the bad guy here. In reality, I DO want it to be easier for myself but I also find it silly that we have the skids so often and DH isn't even here for it.
DH also is required to work every single Saturday. He misses out on an entire day spent with his kids (both skids and ours together, every single week!). Again, I know this makes him sad, too -- and I feel bad for both him and the kids that they don't get to have that time together.
What would you do in this situation? Try to work out a different schedule that will be confusing for the kids or just suck it up and stick to the every other week schedule for consistency, even though the kids aren't necessarily seeing their father as much as they could be?