Step daughter sleep routine
My step daughter has just turned 7 years old, and spends the night with us 3 days every other week. She has been spending the night (not this exact schedule) since she was 3. When she is at our house, she sleeps in her own bed, in her own room (which is decorated, how she likes it etc). However, when she is with her BM, she is still held to sleep every night in her BM's arms, and shares the same bed as her. Because of this, my SD really doesn't like having to sleep in her own bed while she stays with us. My SD's pedeatrician has discussed with BM, that it would be healthier for her development if SD slept in her own room and bed, and we have tried to address it on multiple occasions but this hasn't happened.
We have tried so many things - sleep reward charts, different night lights, reading hours of stories to her, singing, staying in the room until she is asleep, watching her favourite tv show in the mornings if she sleeps the night in her own bed etc. It is so frustrating, because during the day SD doesn't mention her BM at ALL, is totally happy and contended, and she has an amazing relationship with me, her dad and baby brother. But bed times are a constant struggle, and after years and years, there has been no improvement, and still tears, wanting her other mommy, wanting to sleep in our bed. We can't be consistent as we only have her a couple of nights at a time, and BM doesn't help in any way, 'rewarding' SD for spending the night with us, and almost feeding into and encouraging SD's dread of spending the night ('I know it's so hard, it's only for 3 nights, can be in my bed soon' etc). If anyone has any advice or suggestions I would really appreciate it. My 7 month old baby is also an awful sleeper, only sleeping in 2 hour intervals, so I am already very overtired from holding and nursing him, and just wish I didn't have to struggle with SD's sleep issues on top of that. We really want to ideally have more time with my SD, as we love her being with us, and want her brother to grow up with her around as much as possible, and she misses us and cries when she has to leave, but bedtime is a constant battle. Please help :(