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For Those New To StepMom World

Auteur's picture

Here are some warning signs that are indicative of trouble ahead:

1. Does your man allow co-sleeping with his children? (aka the kiddies routinely jump into bed with him at night)

2. Does he have to lie down with them to get them to sleep?

3. Do the children seem somehow "stunted" socially? Do they have poor hygiene habis, eating habits, bedtime habits?

4. Does your man subscribe to the "one big happy family" model? (expects you to love his children as much as or more than him)

5. Does your man have the "inability" to say no to his children?

6. Do his children seem overly "hyperactive" to you?

7. Does your man say "just relax; you worry too much" or "Everything will be just fine" if you bring up a legitimate concern

8. Do the children seem "overly needy" demanding that dad spend 24/7 with them? Do they physically lay all over him and go bonkers when daddy steps out of their peripheral vision?

9. Are they unable to do age appropriate tasks or want dad to do things that could easily be done themselves?

10. Does dad seem overprotective of his children; unwilling to let them try things out on their own?

11. Has dad said things like "I don't want to make waves with the BM b/c it will affect the children" or "we'll take the high road" when faced with blatant BM stepping over boundaries.

Comments

WickedStepMom18's picture

Wish I had read this 9 years ago. Check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check! Auteur - great advice.

Auteur's picture

that makes two of us. I compiled these similarities (biodads/BMs/skids reading off the "same script) when I discovered steptalk about 5 years back 3 1/2 years into my hellish relationship with GG and his baggage.

And yes, the Behemoth (BM), GG (biodad) and the skids had all eleven of these "symptoms"

sonja's picture

LOLOL! Its almost like I have this list on my refrigerator! I have been on this list like 'white on rice' changes changes changes! I DO NOT have a skid in my bed. Refuse to respond to 'I cant'/'I dont know how' and have learned to openly express my opinion on how children should act in this household. I do not make any rules for SD4 that I wont apply to BS7mo when he his older.

No-I am not your mother's picture

OMG... I got a 100% on this test... Only for once I wish had received a zero.. omg, im doomed.