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Freedom

Stepmom1966's picture

I haven't been on Steptalk in a year & I'm happy to say that my life has changed so much. I split up w/ FH last April & it was extremely hard at first because I truly loved him & missed him but I realized that nothing was ever going to change. It didn't matter what I said or did. I never wanted to be a stepmom, especially to his children. They were raised so different from my own & I was so totally miserable. I got alot of advice from this site...some positive & some negative. I will say I still feel like I did. I don't like his children & never will. I truly tried but I've been so happy since I don't have to see them ever!! My ex still emails, calls & leaves me msgs on Facebook sometimes trying to get back together & I've boldly told him that I can't deal with his children & their BM's under any circumstances. It finally dawned on me that I could way away & he never could. I'm still single & I'm extremely happy with my life. I started a 2nd job last May to take up some of my time & help me get over the loss of my relationship & my 2nd job has been so rewarding. I'm a caregiver to a 59 year old woman who is physically & mentally disabled. She is a sweetheart!! I've been involved with her Special Olympics events & it's been incredible. So everyone I'm not an ignorant, heartless bitch. I just felt like I was being used & I was. I was paying all the bills in my house but had no say so when the Skids came. They took over everything, pissed all over the place & had no respect for me or my home. I'm just in a totally different place in my life now & I'm so so much happier now that I ended the relationship. So to anyone who has came here for advice & you were where I was a year ago...if you know things will never change, just give up!! Men will come & go but you stay the same & you need your sanity!! I definitely made the right choice & everyday I'm grateful for my freedom without the skids!! I hope everyone has a wonderful & joyous Easter. Smile

Comments

Jsmom's picture

I am so glad it has worked out for you. Sometimes, we just need that little push to leave. You will find someone without kids. Good luck....

Stepmom1966's picture

Thanks all...When you're in a situation like that it's so depressing. I felt like there was never a moment when I was happy except when the skids left & I knew they weren't coming for a week or so. Then it dawned on me they would always come back eventually!! I got so sick & tired of everything being about his kids & mine didn't count. The skids had mothers, how ever worthless they were, they did have mothers & it wasn't my job to be their mother. I never wanted to be a stepmom & especially to those children. I paid all the bills so he could give his paychecks to 2 different BMs & I'm the one who ended up taxi-ing them everywhere & dealing with them but I had no say so in anything. Another poster on steptalk sent me a pm & she had got out & she really opened my eyes. I knew there was a light at the end of the long, dark tunnel I was stuck in. He really tries to get back with me, even after I've told him I can't stand his kids & don't want to be around them??? Who does that??? Well, I guess he knew he had an easy ride...he's still in a shelter, unable to get his own place because of all the child support!! He swares things would change this time...uh no thank you!! I'm done & FREE!! You deal with the skids & BM's while I live in Peace & Bliss!!!! I feel so bad for women (& men) who love someone so much that they put them selves thru what I did. It's not worth it...another mate will eventually come along & you won't have to put up with all the BS!!! Freedom is so sweet!!!!

buttercookie's picture

I'm happy for you, I really am it was about a year ago I contemplated doing the same as you did. I didn't need to though I have a husband who finally decided enough was enough with his youngest (the problem kid) and decided he wasn't going to have his adult son living here disrespecting me because he knew deep down I wouldn't take it much longer. He also knew I loved him a lot but I didn't sign on to be a whipping girl. We both deal with both our kids and we deal with them fairly I think except for his one son. Well my husband realized he better pull up the reigns on his youngest or he was going to be lonely all alone because I'd leave and there isn't another woman out there that would love him like I do and put up with his adult sons crap. This site can be very beneficial.