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StepMadre's picture

Good news! H talked to BM about a different schedule that allows me some skid-free days and she agreed!!!! Yay!!!! I'm so happy and relieved and very pleased with H. He told her that our schedule had changed and that we couldn't have the skids on certain days, but in order to keep the same amount of time with them, we extended our custody time to 8:00pm on the days that we do have them. It's exactly what I wanted! Now I will have days of peace and no skids and more QT with H and also on the days that we do have the skids, we will actually be able to have quality time with them too rather then just having them do homework, feeding them and returning them to BM like we have been doing. Plus, we will be getting them ready for bed and H is really happy about being a part of their night time routine because he really misses that from before. We had them today and I was in such a good mood that I think it was contagious. We made dinner for them, helped with homework and then actually had time to hang out with them. I wasn't feeling as bitter and resentful and so I actually played video games with both skids and ended up actually having fun. They were way more relaxed because everything wasn't rushed. I'm so relieved and happy! We didn't even have to go through some ridiculous court/lawyer drama!

ALSO NEWSFLASH: BM got fired from her job!!! Haha, I know I am evil to enjoy this petty little moment, but my petty little moments are precious and few and far between. She was given the choice to quit with a good reference or get fired and she went with the reference, but basically it's the same thing. Either go quietly or go with a bang and amazingly she went quietly. We checked and even if she can't get another job or is flat broke it won't affect CS or our custody. It might actually work in our favor in the future. Anyway, I am being a bitch about this, I fully admit, but I am thoroughly enjoying that she finally got what was coming to her. She hurt so many people, was completely incompetent and caused about six friends of mine to lose their jobs and now karma is biting her in the ass. Sweet, sweet karma. Acute


Kb3Hooah's picture


Amazed's picture

Huge improvement!! I'm impressed honey! Maybe the worst of the drama is over for a bit...hope the goodie goods keep coming to you doll!

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha

StepMadre's picture

Yeah, it's already better and not surprisingly, I am so happy about this that it has really positively affected my attitude about the skids. I am way less bitter and don't feel trapped and like my home is over-run with skids all the time.

I'm so excited to have more time with H! We are going to have date night on Mondays and although we won't be able to stay out late (H works really early), we will be able to go out earlier in the afternoon and have plenty of time. This is going to help us so much. I adore H and if we didn't have skid and BM issues, we would have no problems, but I think it's really important to schedule QT time no matter what.

As far as BMs job goes, as her life falls apart, when it affects the skids we will be here to help them and we had a long talk last night about planning for some possible scenarios involving the boys. I am definitely a petty bitch for being happy that BM finally got what was coming to her, but of course I am concerned about how it will affect the skids. They are already really unhappy with BM and we weren't able to do anything about it, but now, if she loses it the way we think she will, it will set up the situation so that we will be able to actually improve the situation for the boys. We've been documenting everything that she's done or exposed the boys to and we just got documentation from SS5's preschool showing that she hasn't paid her half of the fees in over one year and owes three grand on his account. Our lawyer told us to gather anything at all that shows that she is irresponsible and/or unable to take care of the skids properly, so this helps. We have documentation of her being unwilling to accommodate SS11s allergies and took pictures of SS11 when BM was refusing to use skin cream on his skin rash and we write down whenever things happen like SS11 finding a used condom on their bathroom floor. Whenever she is chronically late we note it down and I documented all of her crazy behavior in regards to me. I saved all the emails she sent me where she was vile and abusive and threatened me. We saved the email she sent to H when she was attempting to blackmail him (in an effort to get him to break off our engagement). I have an email where she admitted to having a friend pretend to be someone else online in an effort to stalk me. We also have all the papers that show how she attempted to try not to pay her rent at her previous home (where she and H lived). We know a lot of people who are willing to witness that she has lied in their presence (like their old landlord and a bunch of our old co-workers). I know the courts are horrible about allowing kids to be in bad environments, but the judge in our town who oversees custody is a friend of my moms and he is very fair and does take little things into account. The old judge was horrible, but the new one is wonderful, so things seem to be looking up.

She is completely unstable emotionally and feeds them junk, doesn't provide for them properly and spends all her money on herself. During the time that she wasn't paying her sons daycare, she was making TWICE as much as H as well as receiving 600.00+ in CS a month as well as having H pay for half their school fees/expenses and feeding them half the time. She lives in a disgusting decrepit shack that has extremely cheap rent, but she just got a new car which she has to pay $250.00 a mo. on the lease. She takes the kids through fast food places all the time (at least five times a week) and feeds them crappy, cheap junk. She gets them the cheapest, crappiest clothes and toys. She also goes out to the bars a couple of times a week, which I know is very expensive. When I went out with friends in college, it would cost me 20.00 at the very minimum and usually wound up costing me 40.00-60.00 because I would usually buy my friends a round and had to pay cover charges etc.. I rarely went out, partially because it's so expensive! She eats out all the time as well because she's too lazy to cook. She constantly buys herself new clothes (which look horrible) and might as well just burn money in a fire pit, the way she wastes it. So, why the hell can't she pay for her sons' daycare? What the hell was she thinking buying a new car if she was three grand behind in daycare fees and simply not paying for her sons school?!!!

We will take care of the skids and will take immediate action if they are at any risk at all. We will request a psychological evaluation if necessary. BM already has them in a horrible emotional/psychological environment and if she puts them in any danger at all, we will be all over it.

So yeah, there are definitely some concerns, but we are prepared to deal with the fallout and it doesn't stop me from high fiving myself over BMs karma finally coming full circle! Blum 3

I am so happy and relieved about the schedule that it's making everything easier to deal with. One of the best things is that I was really upset that H didn't seem to be willing to possibly upset or offend BM to get my needs met and take my request seriously. The fact that he did cheers me up so much and gives me hope for H standing up for me more in the future! Smile Anyway, thanks for all your comments and support!!!!!!!!!

"The truth shall set you free." ~John 8:32