Okay, so I am seething right now and need to vent! Since it is vacation and H is home to be with the skids in the morning, I have been able to sleep in a bit which is fantastic and much needed. One of my best friends is visiting us from out of state and we have been staying up late watching Ghost Adventures and basically having the adult version of a slumber party. My sister and her boyfriend have been hanging with us and it's been really fun. BUT, yesterday morning, SS6 woke up early and my BFF, who is sleeping on the couch while we have the skids, was woken up by him. He was so noisy and thoughtless that he also woke up SS12, who was sleeping in his room with the door closed. SS12 immediately started doing his chores so he could get them out of the way early so he could play video games. My friend was impressed because SS12 was cheerful about it and didn't have to be asked. The skids don't know this, but my pal and I have had long talks about the skids, BM and the rules we have in our house. We also have the family rules posted on the wall so the skids can read it anytime they want to. While SS12, even in the absence of a parent, followed the rules and did what he knew he was supposed to, SS6 on the other hand behaved entirely differently.

My BFF told me the story verbatim and this is what he said happened: SS6 refused to say "good morning" and didn't respond to my friend at all when he was talking to him at first. SS6 went right over to the Nintendo and turned it on and started to play! My friend paused it and said "Aren't you supposed to do your daily reading and chores before you play games?" and SS6 said, "yes" and then un-paused the game and kept playing! My pal is not a pushover and spends every day with his two young nieces so he is great with kids and totally comfortable with them. He turned off the game and said, "you do know that it is against the rules for you to play before doing what you need to do, right?" and SS6 said "yes" and then got up and tried to turn the game back on! My friend wouldn't let him and said, "okay, you know you are breaking a major rule and that if your dad or stepmadre were here, you would get in trouble, right?" and SS6 said, "yeah, but I want to play." !!!!! My friend was floored! SS6 was completely and perfectly aware of the rule (and it's a big one in our house) and because we weren't right there, he thought he could get away with just doing whatever he wanted! My friend isn't comfortable disciplining someone else's kids so he waited until H got up (while not letting SS6 play the game) and SS6 told him that he "hated him" and tried to turn the game on and when my friend blocked it with his body, SS6 hit him as hard as he could in the stomach!!!! My horrible little step-child punched a guest in my home in the stomach because he wasn't letting him break a major family rule!!! I am so angry right now that I am shaking. This is also one of my oldest and dearest friends who has done nothing but make an effort to be nice to the skids.

The punch took my pal by surprise, but didn't really hurt him and he picked up SS6, put him on the couch and told him to sit there until his dad got up. SS6 sat there seething with his arms folded and glared at my friend. Stupid SS6 also didn't notice that SS12 was standing in the kitchen with his jaw on the floor, watching the whole thing! He has been violent in the past (something he has learned from BMs trashy family as any violence at all is a huge no-no in our home) and at school, but he has always been sneaky about it and usually targeted toddlers and kids much smaller than him. Being completely manipulative, as soon as H came out into the living room, he burst into fake tears and said that my friend was "being mean" to him. My friend said he felt ever so slightly like a tattling five year old, but he was so shocked and upset that he immediately told H verbatim exactly what had just happened! SS12 chimed in and said he had seen it all too. SS6's "tears" stopped immediately and he went red with rage. H was absolutely horrified!! He immediately sent SS6 to time-out, (for twenty minutes! we usually give him five minutes, but he has never been this horrible or rude to a guest before). H apologized profusely to my friend and then went and talked to SS6 about it. We took away his games for a month and I am excluding him from the sledding trip we have planned for this weekend. I am leaving him at home with my dad, who doesn't take anything from anybody and I am going to have him have SS6 clean his bathroom, room and do his laundry while we are off having fun. I am beyond angry. This goes beyond anything he has ever done before and I WILL NOT have old friends and house guests assaulted by a sociopathic child under my watch.

H is even more angry than I am, and I think this little episode has finally opened his eyes to SS6's real nature. I am surprised by the severity of his behavior, but not at all surprised that SS6 would do something like this. I'm just a little shocked that he would go up against a grown up and in a way that would guarantee him getting caught and in trouble. He later complained to SS12, who wasn't sympathetic at all, that he was angry that my friend "got him in trouble" and "told on him." !!! My whole family, all my friends and the majority of H and my mutual friends all can't stand SS6 and think he's a little creep. They have all been nothing but kind and understanding with him and they have all said that he is the hardest kid to like that they have ever known. I was already struggling with my feelings for SS6 before this! He lies constantly and when he doesn't want to do something, he pretends he doesn't know how or "forgot." He finally just learned to tie his shoes, but hates doing it because he isn't good at it and it takes him a while and yesterday he tried to con one of our other friends into tying his boots for him and then taking them off for him after walking in the snow. Our pal asked him, "don't you know how to tie your laces yet, kiddo?" and SS6 answered in a pitiful whiny voice, "no," and started whining that he wanted his boots tied in a double knot. Our friend was about to tie it, when I intervened and told SS6 that he needed to tie his own laces and that he is now not allowed to ask people to help him with it, because he is perfectly capable of doing it and that practice is all he needs. We always give him plenty of time, but it feels like unless you are standing behind him with a cattle prod, he won't do anything and will try to manipulate anyone around him into doing things for him. Being fair is extremely important to me (I hated being told that "life isn't fair" when I was a kid!) and even though I strongly prefer SS12 to SS6, I have always treated them equally and no one other than my family and best friends know how I really feel (and all my chums on here!) and how hard it is for me to be patient and try to see the best in him. He is naturally very sulky and moody and is the opposite of good-natured and a good sport. He has tried to hide it in the past by pretending to be shy and playing up the "cute toddler" aspect, but now that he is six it isn't working anymore and people are creeped out by him, not tickled by his "cuteness." He isn't shy at all and when his act doesn't work and he doesn't get the attention or result he wants, he becomes angry and winds up in time-out for being rude or mean. He has horrible social skills, no friends at school and no matter how much we work with him he doesn't seem able to learn and has no desire to be good-natured or nice. He is turning into a little mini-BM!!! Her entire family is the lovely combination of verging on mentally retarded and also criminal. Half of her family is in jail and the other half hasn't been caught yet. They all do drugs, are violent and are all-gone alcoholics. SS12 once found a dead body while spending time with BMs family and had to call the police himself because he couldn't find a sober or conscious adult!

H and I had a three hour talk today about him and we are going to step up his counseling to every week and talk to his teacher about his current issues, mostly to give her the heads up in case he is violent at school. He was already almost suspended for hitting other kids and lying about it! He is in first grade!!! It either has to be genetic or he is picking it up from BM because we are a very loving family and there is no violence, verbal or physical in our house. H is very loving and respectful with me and the skids and the few times we have had bad fights have never been in front of the skids. We don't let him watch violent movies or play violent video games. He's always been like this, just not as obvious and i've known him since he was two years old! He has always been H's biggest blind spot and it's been maddening that H hasn't been able to see through his act! Unfortunately for SS6, he inherited BMs low I.Q. and isn't clever at all and so he almost always gets caught immediately when he breaks big rules and his manipulations are clumsy and inept. SS12 is slightly smarter, but a good kid and even when his behavior is horrible, at heart he means well. SS12 definitely acts out and can be a little brat, but there is usually a reason for his behavior and he responds extremely well to basic discipline, such as time-outs and privilege losses. He figured out early on that it is more fun to get along with everyone and play games than to sit in the bathroom for five minutes. His basic personality is gregarious and outgoing and he hero worships my friends and therefore is almost always on his best behavior around them. SS6, on the other hand, resents any attention that isn't focused on him and so when we have friends over, SS12 hangs on to them and chatters away and tries to get them to play board games with him while SS6 glares and sulks and tries to interrupt and keep H's complete attention. We sent SS6 to three time outs today for interrupting and all three times were when H was on the phone or talking to a friend. They are allowed to interrupt if they are hurt or there is an emergency, but not for things like "dad, watch me put my sock on."

I am completely fed up with this kid! I don't get like this often, but I am actually really looking forward to passing him off to my dad's capable hands and going and having some sledding fun with H, my friends, their kids and SS12. SS6 just really crossed a line and I am really sick of dealing with a six year old that doesn't appear to have a conscious. Ugh! Anyway, he is getting more severe consequences than usual (he usually only loses a days worth of games for his worst behavior) but I think his sneaky and blatant rule breaking along with punching a guest in the stomach merits the severity of the consequence. Gah, I am so frustrated and upset!