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Scan, SO and Survival!

stepintime's picture

Need to post an update on the twins and the saga surrounding them. It's been a busy few days. I've had my 12 week scan (so far so good) and I'm feeling much better about everything. I went to the medical centre with an ex-bf who I am still v good friends with. He was really great and the staff thought he was the father. He was so so supportive and excited for me. However I just wanted that to be SO Sad

SO is in therapy because he can not understand why he reacted the way he did. He just doesn't react about anything, even the fact that I was going to the scan with another man!! - he tells me his therapist has said that he has some deep-seated issues to unpick. He has said he finds it difficult to love me when there is a crisis. When everything's fine, he can cope (err, wouldn't we all like life to be perfect all the time?!)but when things involve emotions he runs and sticks his head in the sand. Thanks SO, but I HAVE to deal with this while you choose to ignore it! It's still amicable, but I've asked him not to contact me until he has decided what it is he wants - a proper relationship or just a fairweather one. If it's the latter, then we're not right for each other but I'll always be happy to work with him for the twins.

I'm feeling stronger today, I know it's going to be tough, whatever happens. But I need to take care of myself for the sake of the babies.

Comments

stepintime's picture

Thanks! You have said something that really connected. I have to accept that I am loving an illusion. He just isn't the man I thought he was. He has a well paid job, a house and supportive family. Well I have the first three as well AND I have more than enough love for my babies. They will never want for love.

SusiQ's picture

Just curious why you are letting him decide if he wants to be a part of this? Is the sticking the head in the sand a normal reaction for him or is this the first time?

Twins are going to be tough - all babies are tough but twins?!?!

stepintime's picture

Hi SusiQ

SO wanted to terminate the pregnancy and I can't make him want to be with me. He does have a bit of a tendency to stick his head in the sand but it's never had such serious consequences before! I love him dearly but I am so hurt that he doesn't want these babies. I just can't help it.