Just blue
It's like sometimes I just feel blue and need to make a problem ?
SS23 is spending a lot of time with us, helping his dad work. As I have said, he's super nice and has never made an issue with anything. I, on the other hand, am feeling all needy now and making a problem. I sense that DH isn't doing much dislplaying of affection with me, around SS. Like this morning he squeezed my shoulder at the market, then when SS approached, he let go. Not so fast as to hide it, but kinda dude like. Also, I work at 6am and usually around 8 DH calls me to just check in and whatnot. Now more often than not he doesn't. It's like he's got his buddy and I am not as important. When we talk on the hone I can tell when SS is there by his voice. He's such a "male" but he's always lovey with me when we are alone.... Why am I so needy now? why does it matter if his hugs are a little shorter in front of SS and there is no kissing?
I know he missed his son for years and he is happy to have his help and company, so why am I all blue and making a problem, like an immature kid...I try and hug him more just to set myself up???WTF!!!
Dh is wondering what is going on with me and when I am pre menstrual or needy for some other reason, he just does not what to do about it; if anything he gets upset that I create an issue, and is in no mood to reassure me, even if I admit that I know most likely its just my thing. He thinks I am in one of those irrational moods and he better just leave me alone. Either that or he feels that like with a child, if you give them attention when they behave badly, you make them do it more.
I know neediness is so unattractive, and pathetic, yet it would not take much to make me snap out of it. But he is the kind of guy that if you want him to do something, it makes him just not want to.
I just want to get out of this whiny, needy, pathetic thing I am in.
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Comments
I think you need a girls
I think you need a girls night out. It would cheer you up and if you're out having fun while DH is at home it might break the cycle you're in of feeling needy. I suspect you're reading too much into the display of affection issue and that will settle down. I seriously doubt that your DH thinks you're less important because he's 'got his buddy'. Having his son around is not going to make him love or value you any less, but to begin with it might make him a bit more circumspect about being too lovey dovey in case it makes his son feel awkward - in the same way a lot of men might be less affectionate in front of friends or colleagues. If anything your DH being more circumspect about is more about not wanting his son to feel uncomfortable in a 'get a room' kind of way. If having your SS around more is a relatively new thing then maybe you're all getting used to each other?
Thanks, I could use a girls
Thanks, I could use a girls night out...I think it's been over 10 years now.
You are right that I should not read too much into that. He is such a guy kind of guy, at least around other men..... We've had a couple of hard working days all together and it's been a little stressful. SS is a really good kid. Him and I worked together for a few hours and it was very nice. He told me what a good kid my daughter is, and how fun they had driving around on the dirt road. DD, by the way, has been working much harder than usual, because of his presence. So tonight SS suggested that she get paid a good amount for her work, pointing out how much she did and how good an attitude she had, which is usually rare. Him being around has been very nice for my daughter for sure. She was barely 10 when he moved out and we did not see much of him, so they are getting to know one another again and he is making her feel like a valuable, good person to be around.
So I am out of my funk for now, DH and I had a nice couple of days .
Thanks for the support.