Do skids ever apologize??
I'm looking for the possible light at the end of the tunnel. My skids are 20 & 25. The trouble these days are with the SD. A few months in jail finally straightened out the SS. My DH keeps telling me in order to get our marriage back on track I have to set all of SD's bad behavior aside and just move on. She's so mean to our kids and me and such a suck up to him, I don't know if I can. Do they ever just realize on their own that they have been horrble? I guess I am hoping that one day she will say something like, wow I was a jerk so sorry I hurt you and we all just kinda of go yeah bad times and we move on from there for reals. Am I in lala land or what??
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it isn't fair of dh to expect
it isn't fair of dh to expect you to just accept horrid behavior. nobody should be expected to do that.
i can't speak for everyone, but in my case, no. i have never gotten an apology for anything out of sd19. she was furious when i was pregnant and thrilled when i miscarried, and now 3 years later, she is pregnant and expects me to be happy for her and want to jump right in and do things for her. or, in her words "i thought you would be over it now and would want to help me". yeah, i should be "over" her celebrating my loss. i should want to "help" her have what she was so happy that i lost. she seriously does not understand how what she did was wrong, and she seriously thinks i am holding a grudge and being rotten because i won't play gramma to be. by the way, i'm 34. in nobody's f'g gramma!
i will not just sweep what she did under the rug without her so much as acknowledging that it was wrong, and i'm sure as hell not going to do what she wants me to just because it makes fdh's life easier, and neither should you. i wouldn't let this go out of anyone else, and she is not exempt just because she is his bitch kid.
I'm sorry about your
I'm sorry about your miscarriage. Any "normal" person would know that you don't just get "over" it. What an insensitive btch she is! Why do they think we have to jump right in and help with everything like we owe them more?? Does it ever stop? I've been their SM for almost 18 yrs! I'm getting a bunch of crap now that I didn't figure out her scholarship stuff for college. It's not based on our $ info, it's on her mom's, so have her fill it all out.
DH does expect me to sweep it under the rug. I have overlooked and ignored so much already but it gets to a point when it's just too much.
i've noticed with sd and a
i've noticed with sd and a lot of sd's i read about on here, that the sm's are the one who the skids blame for the fact that they didn't have good mothers. somehow, instead of them blaming their MOTHERS for not mothering them, they blame us. :? sd most certainly does believe with every fiber of her rancid being that i owe her a mother. that i owe her kid a grandmother. but she doesn't owe me an apology or even a modicum of respect in any form. yeah, i can't quite wrap my head around that one. i don't really expect it to ever stop. i don't know what will be next. she can't seem to get the hint that i am not fond of her (to say the least) and that i'm not interested in being a part of her life. she just keeps pushing and trying to force me to do what she wants me to do. NPD is what i'm thinking.
That's exactly what my skids
That's exactly what my skids do. I somehow get blamed that their BM fell short in a lot of areas. They resent the hell out of our kids for the, dare I say, better way I have raised them. I have told my SD for years that when she gets older and has a family take what she likes from her mom & from me and use those things to raise your kids. During her teen yrs I used to joke with her that I'd take a hard hit for her but her parents are the only ones that would give their lives for her. I would tell both of them to try and be more patient with their mom.
I think it's easier to be mad or even hate the SP than admit your own parent is messed up. Sure sucks for all us SP that really have tried. We were close for many years, I didn't see this coming. I'm wondering if I should have kept a little distance from them years ago.....
Newwife3 you're good! You
Newwife3 you're good! You are accurate about the Disney part! DH doesn't like to deal with anything unpleasant. You're also right that I need time to process everything that has happened. The past few yrs have been really bad with them. I know I will feel better to let go of this, but she just lied to her dad a few days ago about whether she was in contact with our kids or not....so it's continuously happening. If she were behaving for a while at least I'd have some time to process this. The other shoe is always dropping with her.
He keeps saying I'm the adult, she's a kid blah, blah, blah I get that, but there's a point that he has to see that his daughter has issues. She did half of the anorexia treatment 3yrs ago, wouldn't do the family part. (BM must be soo proud of her kids, sorry that's mean and uncalled for. I'm just so angry)
I don't want just the words, I'm sorry. I want her to understand that she has been mean and actually be remorseful. I don't think either one of my skids have ever said Im sorry in their lives about anything, ever. That is such a character defect to me. I say Im wrong to my kids, I apologize..what's the big deal? No one does the right thing all the time.
Anyone read any good books lately on forgiveness?? I have to get rid of this.