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Step mum of three's picture

I've only just found this site so I will tell you a little about my situation and why I need to vent!

I'm a step mother to three adorable children, the two oldest SD7 and SS5 live about 12 hours from us so visitation is just on the holidays and their BM is very good about extra time etc with them.

The third child is 2.5 and he is a bit of a handful sometimes as all 2 yr olds can be, he lives in the same small town as us and we have visitation every Wednesday afternoon and every second weekend with an overnight stay on the first of these weekends a month ( yes it's very confusing for ss2).

I have never really spoken to ss2 BM she is odd to say the very least, I try to stay out of arguments with her but do offer better answers to her stupid questions and comments as my DF tends to just want to swear at her due to frustration.

I am pregnant with my first due in may this year so I don't claim to know everything about parenting, I do how ever have common sense and know that my parents did I good job to create a happy and loving childhood for me.

I am sometimes very concerned with SS2s behavior and actions it's quite clear that he is guided by his BM on what he can and can't say around DF and I, the most disturbing comment he has come out with lately has been his comment about penises, his BD took him to the toilet as he needed to piddle ( its adorable when he asks lol) so SS went and so did my DF (his BD) the comment came that 'it doesn't look like mummy's boyfriends' this was quite a shocking comment to come from a 2 yr old or any child for that matter.

I will leave it there for now but plan to be writing more as there are a few things I would love some feed back on so I look forward to hearing from you.


newbie88's picture

If my SS were to have made this comment it would have literally made me furious!!!

I do believe in the "modeling" theory to a certain extent. I do not however feel it necessary for BM to be having her boyfriend doing the modeling! I think this is something that BF really needs to be bringing up to her. For no reason does BM's boyfriend need to be showing his "bits" to the child. Regardless of whether or not they are trying to potty train the child I do not agree with BM's boyfriend doing this.

It really need's to be brought up, I certainly know that if it were my SS that something would be said.

DeeDeeTX's picture

Then what male is supposed to model for SS if it isn't BM's BF? The poster's fiancée isn't around enough since they live 12 hours away. To me, this is perfectly acceptable.

Step mum of three's picture

The two year old was the one that made this comment he lives in the same town as us and we see him on a regular occurance I apologize if I made it sound any different.

Step mum of three's picture

Unfortunately it was brought up to her in a fairly formal letter in her 'communications book' ( apparently its easier to write her complaints in a book instead of just talking to my DF about things) and it was completely ignored she addressed other issues in the letter but completely ignored my partners concerns like it would just go away if she did so, he has texted her on several occasions regarding this and he either gets ignored or told she is busy and don't text her ... It's very frustrating as if the comment had of been about me (not that it is ever possible as I make sure he never has or will see me naked) I would have had to answer to the police or the court.

Kes's picture

I don't know if there is anything sinister to be read into this. It may be that BM and BF are a bit casual about nudity, going to and from the bathroom etc. Perhaps BF views the 2 year old as a baby still, and has not seen fit to bother shielding him from sight of himself unclothed.
I do think it's something that step parents need to be careful of, though. Things can be misinterpreted and/or walk a thin line between innocence and inappropriateness.