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Troubled child

po-girl's picture

I have a 14 year old SS, who as long as I have known him (about 2 1/2 years) has always been a quiet kid. So much so that I have always thought of him as having problems or being "troubled", and have expressed my concerns to my partner who just seems to shake it off. Whether he can't handle it if there are problems or he just makes excuses like, he's always been a mummy's boy, it's just his personality. However, about a week ago I found something out from a close male friend which caused me concern and I am now struggling on how to handle it. SS is always on the computer logged onto "My"and I thought I would check the history of the computer logs after he went back home to his mother's. He stays with us every 2nd weekend. I found comments to his friends like, Ï can't handle anymore pressure, & I'm so confused. I really think this kid needs professional help.I have a good relationship with the older SS who is 16 & he told me his mum said to him recently that she thought something was going on and that she also thought of him as troubled. She then questioned the older son to see if he knew anything. I don't know how my partner would handle this, he's such a bloke's bloke, and I don't know if he would be able to handle it in the best way if I told him, or should I tell SS mum, as we have a pretty ok relationship, or do i get them both together and discuss with them . I could never forgive myself if something happened, and sometimes just not being directly involved with the son (as a bio parent is) I am seeing things differently to them and maybe more objectively. My partner and his ex have a so so relationship which has only improved since I've been on the scene in the last few years, encouraging him to have a good relationship with her because of their children. However, at times, things can be quite testing between them (more so with him towards her). Anyone with any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.

skye22's picture

I really think that you should talk to both his parents. At least tell them that you suspect that he is depressed and what you read on myspace. At least they might open their eyes a little.

happy mom's picture

Is mom/dad have a close relationship w/this child? I would think if he does, he would be open about his troubles to discuss w/them. Maybe you can take the child out somewhere, get ice cream or something and just casually ask him if everything is okay w/him or just ask him what has he/she been up to lately. Maybe he'll start a conversation w/you. If not, reassure him/her that you're there to listen if he needs someone to talk to. I would tell both of his parents to be aware and be attentive to son and tell them what you found on the website.