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Tense weekend

Steamed's picture

Well, true to form, it has been another tense weekend, although I can't say that is was ALL due to SS, but he certainly contributed.

We drove to Virginia to visit with my father inlaw and mother inlaw. Along for the trip were myself, my wife, my BS and SS. SD had to stay home because she was working over the weekend and couldn't get any time off as she has just started a new job. The trip down was pretty uneventful, everyone was told to remove their shoes before going into their house because they had just had new carpet installed throughout the entire house and wanted to keep it clean. No problem, everyone did so without a grumble or complaint.

Got there late friday nite and after relaxing for a while went to bed. My BS was sleeping on thier couch, SS was sleeping on the living room floor (new carpet) and wife and I were in a spare bedroom. All went well, got up saturday and did some shopping and general running around, went out to dinner, etc..., the usual things we do there.

Sunday morning got up and Father inlaw was quite upset, seems that SS was smoking a cigarette while laying on the floor and BURNED A HOLE IN THE NEW CARPET !

I was embarrassed and didn't know what to say. I told my wife what had happened and she went out and made him wake up and make an effort to clean the carpet, he was able to clean it up a bit, but still had a hole in the carpet. They all kind of blew it off, like everyone seems to do with this kid but I know they weren't happy. Later on when we were alone, FIL told me that someone needs to stick their foot up SS's ass. Someday he said , that kid is going to burn someones house down. I said I know, that we have burns all over the house because of his irresponsibility and that we are constantly yelling at him because of it, he just doesn't care. FIL said that he feels sorry for me having to put up with him.

We started home late sunday morning, knowing that we were going to hit some of the storm that was moving up the east coast that afternoon, and we did. Drove most of the way at 35-40 mph, saw 14 accidents and one body bag along the side of the road. It was a long and tense trip home, and of course SS had to make it even more so. First saying how it would be "cool" to get into an accident, complaining about how slow I was driving, couldn't believe how some people don't know how to drive and get into accidents ( of course he has been driving less than a year but knows everything), just stupid shit that was making the whole situation worse. One time he said to my 8 yr old son, who was quietly playing his game boy in the back seat, sometimes talking to himself about the game but otherwise not really bothering anybody, SS says to him that he was annoying him because he was talking to himself and that if he was a couple years older that he (SS) would knock his ass out. Then when we pulled in to a gas station for a pit stop, he says, "your gonna get beat up if you don't stop talking to yourself", a 18 yr old kid telling an 8 yr old this !!!, well I lost it at that point, I turned around in the seat and said if you ever lay a hand on him you'll have to go through me first, and if you say anything like that to him again I'm gonna kick your teeth down your throat and pull them out your ass !!!. He acted all put out, being a big tough guy, said yea right, in your dreams. I really had to take a deep breath and stop myself from pulling him out of the vehicle and kicking the shit out of him. His mom didn't say a word, which I have to give her credit for, normally she would have jumped to his defense.

Anyway, after a 9 hour drive that normally would have taken 5 1/2 hours we made it home. Is it wrong of me to say, I'll be glad when this kid is gone?


Anonymous's picture

I don't think its wrong of you to want the 18-year-old "kid" out of the house.... hes 18 years old! Why is he still in the house?? Why isn't mom addressing any issues with him? Or is she?
I have a nine year old son whom sometimes acts like a huge jerk... (I think he gets that his dad... ha ha) Anyway, I call him on it when he acts like a jerk to his younger sisters and brothers. I don't know how you refrained from telling him off when he was making an already tense situation that much worse...

h6not3's picture

Will he really be gone someday??

You are stuck in a tough spot and although I don't have any answers for you, I definately agree with you and feel that you are probably handling this the best way that you can. I'm sorry, I think that you are being walked on by allowing this person to be in YOUR house. However, I know that you are in a tight spot because of all the guilt that your wife has due to his/her past....So, in turn, you are accepting it all for her.

This is a lot of stress. It's one thing to have him gone and have the house back to "normal", but how will your wife be about it? I'm sure that this might be a long battle between you and her with you trying to get her to play the tough guy and also get over the pain that she went through for all those years.

She has her pain...however, don't let yourself endure pain (along with your 8 year old) just because you feel sorry for the rough past she had. We all are responsible for our actions.

Take care, keep us updated.

Heather Smile

happy mom's picture

i think you really need to sit his child/adult down and lay the rules when he is at your house or with you. if he breaks it, kick him out. this kid/young adult needs to know you are serious and that you'll follow through w/the consequences.

-happy mom