Learning to bite my tongue
I've been stretching myself, really determined to be a better, happier person. And that includes NOT commenting on every damn thing that I disagree with or that drives me nuts. I'm trying to stay in a place that doesn't judge. Doesn't care, doesn't criticize.
Oh. My. God. It's hard.
But I'm seeing the stress leave me. I'm being much, much firmer with my husband about my lessened role with his son. And my bio son 14 has noticed my efforts and is offering support. So far, win win!
Today, I said nothing as my ss15 played all day, watched TV, did nothing - and he has a science exam tomorrow morning 9 am. (Actually, he's been here since Thursday, so I haven't said anything for days! Yay me!)
I have let go of the need to say anything, because it's his decision whether to pass or not, and his dad's choice whether to bring it up or not. It's not on me.
Big sigh. That feels so much better.
- Sparklelady's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
"It's hard not to judge when
"It's hard not to judge when you see things that make absolutely no sense, but saying something doesn't really help anyway."
You are so correct on that point, luckymomme! And it's the very fact that saying something doesn't really help, that makes it more important that we just shut our mouths lol!
I also try writing (typing) a note in my smartphone when I'm caught in one of those moments - pouring out my frustration in written words, and once done I feel better and no one ever needs to know how I lost my cool. That little trick is working very well for me
I'm in the same boat but I
I'm in the same boat but I keep springing leaks
It's very hard to not have a voice but still be able to speak if you know what I mean.
I am trying to not only keep my mouth shut but not be resentful that I feel I can't say what I am thinking. It's a very difficult work in progress and I'm happy the writing is helping for you.
If it helps any, you are definitely not alone in having scars on your tongue from chewing it
Hang in there and a high five from me for your success so far
Lol, so very very true!
Lol, so very very true!
There is a book out there titled "Radical Acceptance", that has been helping me to be able to bite my tongue without actually severing the poor thing inside my mouth!! Since you're feeling (rightfully!) resentful about having to keep your mouth shut too, I would suggest that you at least check it out to see if it might be a good fit for you. It's all about helping us (not THEM) and how we can choose whether or not to let something bother us. And as intelligent people, we know that we can choose to be angry or not, but this book at least gives you some tools so that you don't have to feel the anger take over. Still isn't easy, but it sure has made things easier for me.
And, thanks for the high 5! But really, we should be raising a glass to one another