Problems with DH-Could be kind of long, lol
I have issues with my SS's behavior, and the BM's influence, my BS being a teenager, but I'm sooo frustrated with my DH at the moment. I was going to write all this in my journal, but decided that's what ya'll are here for! First, a little more information. My DH is working in a different state than we live. He's dealing with chronic pain, insomnia, and depression. Which is making him irritable, emotional, and at times angry. I know all this, I try to be understanding and deal, but I'm just overwhelmed (and have PMS, lol) and frustrated, and tired.
He guilt parents his BS, I feel like he can be too hard on my BS, he seems to forget I work a full time job just like he does. I take care of the BS14, all the bills, all the appointments, 99% of any phone calls and things that need to be handled, the house, the two dogs (that I didn't want), the yard, the shopping, etc. I also have family, friends, hobbies, and things that I don't want to give up, even though I've had to cut way back. I can't seem to talk to DH about any of the things I'm feeling, any of the stress, any of the problems we have (normal ones like money, house repairs, etc), or the kids. Sometimes I think he thinks I'm magic, cause it would take magic powers to finish everything he seems to expect I can do! He thinks I never agree with anything he says about BS14, that I never admit when I'm wrong (which is a problem, I admit), and that I'M the one who's always upset. I'm not very verbal about my feelings anyway, and with the situation he's in, any conversation we have about anything just seems to set him off, either to be angry, or sad, or frustrated cause he feels he can't do anything from so far away. I'm about to the breaking point, but don't see any way out of it. I would love to go to a counselor, but can't take the time off work.
He used to be happy to talk to me on the phone, happy to be seeing me, he used to treat me like I was an angel (tho his perfectionism has always been around). It made all the stress at least seem worth it. Now he just gripes and bitches at me, and I feel like he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. But again, if I bring it up, I get the "I'm exhausted and in pain, and worried, etc, etc." speech, and then I just feel even worse about bringing it up, or that I'm being selfish, or at least not understanding. I just wanna run away sometimes. or take up drinking. or both.