I've been lurking and reading for a while, and was very glad to see that others are in the same or similar situations as me. I've been married for 2 years now, with one BS 14 and one SS 11, so I'm both the evil stepmother and dealing with a stepmother and a bioligical mom. At times I think I'd rather have my arm broken. I'm having lots of issues with lots of things, and I have trouble sorting out which ones are my problems, or his problems, or our problems, or BM's problems. I think my DH does a LOT of guilt parenting, plus the conflict between the two boys can be infuriating. BM is controlling, conniving, manipulative, and in my eyes way overly involved in my DH's extended family and life. He says I'm overreacting, jealous, etc. I say he's being manipulated and doesn't see it.
DH is great with my son most of the time, but when we have both boys that changes. But he gets very upset if I imply that he doesn't treat the boys the same in any way, so we can't have a conversation about it hardly at all.
SS is generally a good kid, but I get so aggravated at him and all the stuff he does that DH just doesn't seem to see at all, that I start disliking him. I know I'm not perfect, I get jealous sometimes of him taking "my" place with DH, but I try not to make a big deal of it most of the time. But it gets on my nerves sooo bad!
I have some specific questions/situations that I want to ask advice on, but thought I'd intro myself first. Thanks for listening