At least I don't feel crazy and alone anymore. I grew up in a step family and work in foster care. I am a realist when it comes to step-families and expectations, or so I thought. My SS, or son to be SS, is 16 and the most pathetic whiney unmotivated child I know. He is capable of making straight A's in school and has proven this through various assessment tests, yet continuously brings home C's and D's. He has no ambition, no goals, no motivation. He is anti-social...never comes out of his room. He stays in his room playing computrr games until the wee hours of the morning. Only comes out to eat, bathe, or go to the bathroom. Miind you, I have to knock on his door when dinner is ready. Hegot a truck for his 16th birthday that needs minor work 4 mos ago and was told he had to help fix it and has yet to even walk out to the truck and start it. He hasn't studied nor asked to go get his license to drive, and at least once a week or every 2 weeks, he dramatically and theatrically comes out of his room complaining he is sick. I mean my 8 yo BD could play sick better than this kid. He clutches his stomach and says he has a headache or feels like throwing up. Today he complained his chest burned (heartburn%. I was told by his dad he's old enough to make those calls so I told him it was his call and walked off. He went back to bed. He is lazy, never picks up anything or takes out the trash or does a dis and if you disturb him and ask him to help carry in groceries he will do so, but very begrudgingly. He has no friends, never goes anywhere, grows a beard everyone else sees but him because he hates shaving. If I take a night off from cooking he throws a fit because it's a wing it nigt and later comes in asking what he can fix. Mind you we do not put stipulations on what the kids can eat. If it's in the kitchen, it's fair game. I used to attempt to talk to him and encourage him or constructively criticize him the same way I do my BD's, but then I found out he was whining and crying to his dad. If he does talk to me, it's w atitude and sarcasm and he acts like a know it all, can't tell him anything. He is always negative and whine. It's so bad my 15 yo BD hates him. She's a passive laid back kid but he makes her blood boil. Both my BD's are ambitious and motivated and hate missing school and are very concerned about their grades and constantly talk about their plans for the future. They aren't active about cooking or ceaning around the house but they will do so if asked w out tude.@they possess common sense and rarely ask stupid questions. My SS consistently blows me away with his ignorance. Two examples: I took him to the dentist and was filling out his paperwork. One of the questions was "do you feel self conscious about your teeth/smile?" I asked him and he said "i don't know what that means". Two nigts ago he came in wanting his dad to fill out his app for a communit collee program he can take his jr. And sr. Years. The directions explicitly sated on front that the app was to be filled out by the student, not the parent. I pointed it out and SS got mad saying he didn't know how or wat the answerswere. Mind you, they were questions like name, address, dob, etc. He's never held a pt job, nor does he want one. One of the questions was about work history and experience and there were boxes to check...onewhich said "none". He actually asked what to mark. I could go on and on, but I'll stop there. His dad constantly defends him and refuses to see what a pathetic baby his son is. SS BM and family live w his maternal grandma. All are educated but refuse to work. His grandma supporta all of them in her home. Before moving out of state, SS spent every weekend w her and now that we moved, he goes there every break from school he gets and if we say no, we can't afford the trip, he pouts and gets angry. Someone please help me!!!!