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SMreinvented's picture

The girl who caused me years of grief and anguish may have finally grown up...The other day I actually heard her tell my husband over the phone how wonderful I have been to her in the months leading up to our youngest grandson's birth a month ago and since his being diagnosed with a hole in his heart this week.

:jawdrop: I know right???

I never thought I would live to see the day....

But we are actually doing OK.

I have my doubts if I will ever be able to get there with YSD but for the time being I am cautiously optimistic with my relationship with OSD.

Please pray for our little guy as he will need surgery to fix the hole in his heart.

"Make the first move to make things right."


Indigo's picture

Sending you quick prayer for the little guy. Congrats on OSD having a moment of illumination. Celebrate it.

B22S22's picture

It does give you a weird feeling, doesn't it? My first thought (when my SK's had their break-thru moments) was suspicion... what happened, what do they want, when is the other shoe going to drop?

Since my SK's got out of high school and are now in their early 20's our relationships have been evolving. They actually TALK to me, and not just when spoken to, but initiating conversations.

You can imagine my surprise when the one SK (who never spoke, wouldn't make eye contact, and was the worst about telling on me to his mom) came over one day with a bottle of beer for me -- he had some and liked it, and wanted me to try it. If my eyebrows got any higher on my face, they would have blended with my hairline (and p.s. is was a really good local craft beer).

As I've said in other posts... I think my SK's see me differently as adults than they did as children. Maybe because as adults they see that the things DH does for them are actually DH and *I*. And as adults, they see their mother differently and realize that her opinions of me are not all necessarily true. In the last few years when they've been going thru some difficult times (some emotional, some financial) WE have been the ones helping them out - purely out of choice. They know we aren't there to bail them out at every turn, but each of them have had situations that were totally unavoidable and unexpected. Their mom has just shrugged her shoulders and turned her back, saying they were on their own. My own personal opinion is that their usefulness ended when CS ended (yes, she's THAT kind of mom) so she doesn't feel she has any obligation towards them at all.

Just take it slowly, and work with each situation. Maybe.... just maybe.... this can turn into a good relationship between you and your SD. A good ADULT relationship.