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Feeling very left out.

Alegra's picture

I have been part of my step son's life since he was 10. I've been step mom for the last 6 years. Tonight was "graduating senior" night for the baseball players. The kids get announced and their parents go to the mound, get their picture taken...moms get a flower etc. I lined up the photographer this year, and 10 minutes before the event started they asked my husband and and me how we wanted the names read with us and bio mom. He says, "oh we are going out without you." I was shocked, so was the president of the booster club. So everyone lined up...the event went on several people asked why i wasn't out there...I was embarrassed and almost started crying. My husband later said, "we'll it was just for the parents." Oh I was unaware that I wasn't a parent. Let me know when I am in that role again. I'm devastated and feel so stupid. I was all dressed up, and feel sooooooo stupid.

MamaFox's picture

Oh my goodness. You poor thing. You really need to tell him how bad that made you feel. Don't let this be swept under the rug.

You deserve SO much better! I'm totally gutted at the way this happened to you.

Orange County Ca's picture

No reason for you to feel stupid - as for husband its quite another story.

It's easy to look back but I'd like to think I would have driven off as soon as he got up to go out there. Are you able to have a frank discussion with him about this? In the end I think you're going to have to write it off to insensible stupidity.

jumanji's picture

That is just rude. And I'm speaking as a bioMom. Now... I *would* have been annoyed it either my ex or his wife felt it appropriate to stand with us in that siruation - because neither have ever been to a game or shown any interest/support. But if there had been involvement? I'd have sucked it up.

What your husband did was wrong.

weekendwidow's picture

Ugh. I've been there. It's a horrible feeling and there's nothing anyone can do to make it better. In the past, I would bottle it up, suck it up and move spare other people's feelings. Today I say to hell with that and let the offenders know precisely how insensitive that was to me. I believe my skids do it on purpose because that's their nature. I believe my DH does it because he just didn't think things through. I was excluded from all of my SD's wedding prep, bridal shower and wedding pictures. I was deeply hurt and everyone said, "Well, a step mom isn't really supposed to be involved anyway, right?" Ouch. Being a step mom is the MOST unappreciated job on earth. Sorry you're hurting. You're in good company and not alone. Smile

Alegra's picture

I am so glad so many of you understand. I have no friends that are step parents so I can't have this conversation with anyone in real life. To make a very long story short...I did have a discussion with my husband and after about 30 minutes of b.s. excuses he finally realized what an ass clown he was for doing that. He is usually really good about accepting responsibility and saying sorry when he is wrong, so I couldn't believe the excuses that were coming out of his mouth...such as, I thought we talked about it already, there will be lots of things coming up where you will be included, I just wanted to make things easier, I thought you knew the situation, I had no idea that is why you were dressed up. Finally after i described how dumb it was that my step son had 2 flowers in his hand when he walked to the mound for the picture because one was supposed to be for me. My step son actually walked out to the bleachers to give me the flower after his bio-mom told him where I was. My husband feels very bad now, so at least it won't happen again.

To make me feel better the picture of my husband and his ex wife with my step son is a terrible picture. Lol. Karma! I know for his wedding and other things I will take a back seat, but its easier for me to do that when I know in advance. I was just blindsided with this one.