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Darn genetics!!!

SMIT's picture

Has anyone else had to try to love a child who looks so much like his mother that you can't see him as anything but a reminder of your husband's baggage? Thankfully, my little SS is beginning to look more like his daddy, but for a long time, the kid was a frightening spitting image of his mother and I actually resented him for it. I resented a child for something he couldn't help! WHAT was wrong with me?! I guess I really didn't like what he represented. Will anybody else out there please let me know if you've experienced anything like that? Thanks!


happy mom's picture

Yes, I know what you mean. Same situation here, although son still looks like the mother, it's going to be like that for a long time. I was sort of irritated with that too, but of course keeping that to myself.

Georgie Girl's picture

starting to look more like her everyday. Thankfully, he is pretty good natured and a pretty good kid, so it doesn't bug me at all. It's my sd who drives me up the wall.


luvdagirl's picture

Around the age of 8 my SD was a mini version Her BB even dyed her hair the same color, YUCKY! I had a really hard time with it since it was also the high point of SD trying to not believe how big of a liar her mom was and was questioning everything we did, Lucky for us and SD she has started to look like dad(BB isn't half as attractive as she Thinks- everyone says that its not just me)and now(good or bad) has alot of my personality too.
Its not just you I promise and its not SS either it is all those bad emotions attached to BM, and I had to remind myself of that daily for a while.

everythinghappens4areason's picture

Yep, ss looks like his mom, right down to the last freckle!!! BM is a nice looking woman so yes my ss is a nice looking boy. I have to hide my resentment a lot of times because not only does he look like her, he acts like her. He is so focused on money it is sickning. Always asking us where we got money to buy this or that, putting us down when it comes to gifts, because...."this is just a junky one, mom will buy me a better one"...yep, you read it correctly..nice eh? He is 11, makes us wonder what he will be like as an adult.

Sebbie's picture

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.

But he acts just like her and that is the hardest thing to handle. At only 6 years of age, he already has her victim act down to a tee and has her shitty attitude that says the world owes me... We just had ss for 2 weeks after not seeing him for almost 2 years due to bm's ongoing interference, and now we know what she has been teaching him over the past 2 years, and none of it has to do with respect, love, trust, manners, sharing or caring for another persons emotions. It really hurts because this is not the child my dh and I remember from the past, and we know it is going to take a long time to teach him the values that his bm obviously doesnt feel is necessary to instill in ss. We also wonder what he is going to be like as an adult if our influence is not strong enough in the future to create positive changes in him.