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Some things just suck.

slice_of_slife's picture

BS stb17 is typical know it all teenager. Since I remarried and moved 40 minutes away, he is increasingly resistant to visit and miss out on all his high school friends' activities. A large part of this is depending time with his GF. They have been together a long time and sexually active for a long tome, but have had breaks where both were sexually active with either people. I have, in my mind, tried being accomodating to his needs regarding practices and events, and he drives himself often.

In my mind, DS stb17 views himself as the man of the household when living with BM, and she buys into it. So we butt heads hard when he is with me. When he and DD15 and DS stb7 are here he likes to act as if he is in charge of them, including getting them up extra early so they can all spend some time at"home" before school. When I am getting after DD15 to do homework and worry about grades he sits right there and says grades are not important. He has tested as a gifted student, but currently has 2 D's and a F. He reassures everyone that his grades are good enough to get into the local (average) college,and he is probably right. Anyway he says he is through listening to me, and is going to be making more of his own decisions. He has gotten mad enough about his "abusive" restrictions to assault me, and I told next time that happened the police will be involved.

This is all pretty normal stuff I guess, with the possible exception of the assault, and even that I (and police) can deal with. But DD15 is sick of his (and BM's) act, and has asked to move in with me, DW, SD14 and SS11. BM is leaning towards agreeing with it. This will blindside DS stb 17, as he and DD15 are best friends. But he simply is not a good influence on her quite a bit of the time. I think it really is best for DD15, but DS stab 17 will be hurt and disappointed, and may lash out at her (not physically.)

Just needed to tell someone. Any thoughts are appreciated. Thanks.

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slice_of_slife's picture

ETA. Feel free to tell me what an asshole I am for even considering separating my bios, and how harmful that would be, if that is how you feel about it. I see lots of sides to this discussion.

slice_of_slife's picture

DW and DD15 get along well. DW encourages the idea, is a big advocate for DD15.Yes there will continue to be adjustments. I just feel strong reservations about separating the bios. Anyone been through this as a parent or kid that can shed some light?