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What do you think of this?

slice_of_slife's picture

For whatever reason, BS17 seldom visits me, DW and skids at our home. I don't like it, but I am dealing with it. DW seems to feel a lot of rejection regarding the situation, and rejection is something she and skids do not tolerate well. I know that DW harbors a lot of resentment, because she has said so, and because the last time I mentioned helping him with a car issue, she got very upset about how itwould negatively affect the skids (I felt the negative impact would be minimal) and called him the "golden child) and went on and on about how I favor him. I denied it, but whether or not it is true is not the point.

BS17 was voted athlete of the week by the patrons of a local business. My exW sent a picture of the billbpard with BS17's name on it to BD15 and me this am. BD15 immediately showed me, but did nkot show skids and DW was already gone to work. I forwarded the pic to a few people, but not to DW. Last time I sent her a pic of BS17 at the top of an awards stand, she replied with, "What do I care?" So I just don't feel like sharing it with her, but it still bugs me somehow.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

Well that's kind of rude. I have found that sometimes in life, it is best not to verbal vomit EXACTLY what you are thinking at the moment. I'll be honest, if DH texted me some pic of SD16 winning an award, I would be THINKING "What do I care" but I would definitely respond with a "Oh that's great!" Kind of just manners isn't it??

slice_of_slife's picture

I don't care if she loves my bios. She and I both acknowledge that she likes my bios more than I like her bios. I don't care if she gets excited it whatever. The thing that feels weird is that if I do mention it, I fear it will be used as ammo in some jealous argument later on. Yes, DW has told me tearfully that I should love her bios like she loves mine..

AllySkoo's picture

Wait, my head hurts...

She's disengaged, doesn't want to see pictures of your kid, and you're... supposed to love her kids like she loves yours? So - not at all, then? :?

slice_of_slife's picture

I mostly agree with you, Echo, except DW gets extremely upset at the times that I have asked her to NOT attend his tournaments (there is one on Saturday). And after that we are driving 3 hours to check inyo a hotel and thrn on Sunday attend a tournament for. Ss12. I would be fine if we each went our own ways on this weekend. Hell, I would be fine if she skipped BS17s tournament and I went to SS12's tourney. But I would get a lot of resistance to either of those ideas, too. For whatever reason it is important in this conversation, yes BS17 did assault me last March..

slice_of_slife's picture

DW professes her love for two of my three bios. What I see as hypocritical is that she had chosen who to "love" based on their behavior towards me, her, her bios or whomever, but does not want me to make the same judgement calls.

slice_of_slife's picture

Thank you exhaustedSM, but I feel that much of your frustration is unfairly projected on my situation . Two nights ago SS12 walked in on DW and I without kn ocking during adult time because he heard an "annoying noise, like a ticking." Just walked right in. And last night DW got a call from SD15 downstairs that she needed some ice cream brought to her in bed, which DW immediately took care of. So no, skids are definitely not "back burner" maferial. You are right about trying to look at things from an outside perspective, however.

slice_of_slife's picture

Yes, she got the call on her phone. For the last week she had been complaining about how bad she feels. Not bad enough yo mosses school, (for which I commend her) or dates or dinner with her dad. But demanding that a Dr. visit is a necessity. I believe that she may not feel 100%, but give it a break already.

Danearl1's picture

I think that it's really sad when you can't share your kids accomplishments with your life partner, whether they are your kids together or not.

I don't know your back story or if your BS has made life hard for your DW like many of the skids we hear about on hear (I only say this cause of her 'why do I care' comment) but this story made me feel bad for your BS and you that you can't enjoy and be openly proud of your son.