How do you tell the baby bug to "F" Off?
So I have been struggling for months with the baby bug. My heart really wants one (for whatever reason) even though it's completely illogically at this point in my life.
I think what is affecting me the most right now is FACEBOOK and the lose of someone that I knew. Facebook because it seems like all of my friends are getting married and having kids and or have already done so and are posting pictures all over the place. for the record I am almost 28. I recently found out that some one that I had met a few times dies suddenly at the age of 33. It's sad to think that he left behind two young sons but it's almost nice to know that he did leave something behind. If something happened to me, i wouldn't leave any thing behind but maybe some debt.
And I hate it that everyone around me seems to be a parent but me, including SO.
But we are not even engaged (long story about him dragging his feet) and I know even if you got engaged I can't do both - plan for a baby and a wedding. So something would have to take a back seat and right now my heart really wants a baby MORE than a wedding (again it's illogical). I also don't have a job at the moment which may be added to it desire for a baby, if I am going to be stuck home I would rather it be to take care of a baby.
I have told myself in order to stall that I shouldn't try/push for a baby until I do a number of things first, but it's not helping. Things like get in shape and cut out caffeine.
Even dealing with the SKids on a regular basis isn't helping. My heart keeps telling me that they are not my kids and mine won't act like that because I am not as retarded as BM. And everyone keeps telling me how great my skills are as a mother - but I keep saying I am not a mother! They of course are referring to me taking care of the SKids.
So please help need advice on how to beat the baby bug before I do something stupid.
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Do you have any little nieces
Do you have any little nieces or nephews?
I'm a nanny, and I sat for 6 days straight with two little boys ages almost 2 and just turned 5 while their parents were out of town, and I thought I was ready for a baby before, but then I realized that I am NOT!
I missed my alone time with my hubs, I missed my going out, I missed sleeping in. I know that I will be ready one day, but NOT RIGHT NOW!
So that's what helped me.
You know I tired this - this
You know I tired this - this past summer. 2 years ago I moved to another state where my parents live. All of my siblings and there kids are far away now. But when my sister was in town she asked me if I would watch her kids for her one night so that Her and her husband could go out to a nice dinner with our parents. I said yes, because I was curious as to how I would do. I had watched her kids in the past and swore I would never do it again because her kids were out of control. She has 3 kids now. A Daughter (7) and two sons (6 and 1). She told them to be nice for me. The results were mixed. The kids were great for me but we did play outside in the water. by the time they got home I had the 'baby' bathed and in his PJ's. I was about to rock him and put him down when they got home. Before I left I gave the older two treats for being so good. They enjoyed it so much my nephew
told his mom to go away again so that I could watch them. 
So I did okay but that was just for like 5 hours. Plus like I told BF one time my child would know that I like and don't like as it grows, unlike someone else s child that is used to the way their mom does things.
I do it every day, and I LOVE
I do it every day, and I LOVE my job. Like I would do it for free, LOVE it.
BUT doing it 24 hrs a day for several days. WOOOOOOOO HONEY! I'm telling ya, when I went to pick up the parents from the airport, I was like "I have never been more happy to see two people in my life!!!!!"
If I did it right now, we'd HAVE to have a nanny because you just NEED those breaks away from them.
Wake up at 5 AM, get the oldest boy to school by 7 AM, deal with hyper toddler all am, put him down for a nap but he's screaming and not letting you rest, get oldest boy from school @ 2:30 PM, and look forward to 5 hrs of nothing but boys yelling at each other and rough housing, try to put them to bed (see nap time), do the dishes, clean up, get in bed by 10:30, get 6 hrs of sleep and repeat, and for a full time mom that is 365 days a year, no vacations.
Anyone who was every really a single mom, like you did all that by yourself with no family or hubby or BF to help. HATS OFF!!
This isn't really what you
This isn't really what you asked for but I recently had my first and only child at the age of 30 after a friend said something to me that kind of made sense all at once. For the record DH and I weren't married at the time and I'm a complete work-a-holic who had always done everything by the book so choosing to have a baby while not married, etc was completly out of character for me...atleast prior to my sons birth..
"If we wait until we are ready to have a child, then we never will. There are always a million reasons not to but only one reason to do it. You have to do what your heart tells you too."
I would Imac's advise and see about spending some extended time with small chilren, needy needy infants if possible. I still say everyone should be required to do that prior to having their own. Good luck whatever you choose to do.
I have the baby bug as well,
I have the baby bug as well, and it's totally illogical for me too. We got married last month and DH wants to get started, but I feel like things are just too nuts. I also feel like BM might try to kill me if she finds out I'm pregnant, and that she'll turn the kids against each other and a bunch of other nonsense. She's actually a huge part of the reason I'm dragging my feet. With the skids and BM in the picture, I feel like my life is constant drama and that maybe I should wait unti things calm down.
But when will things calm down? Like smiley said, if I wait until the right moment then I never will have a kid because everything's going to continue to be nonstop drama until the skids turn 18 (and possibly afterward as well).
Do we have the same BM? She
Do we have the same BM? She is a concern for me but I told BF that I am not going to live my life worrying about her, but I totally think that she will melt down when/if I get pregnant. Because that is like the one thing that she has on me, or so it seems. I think that BM thinks BF and I won't last but kids are forever and if I get prego BM may freak because now BF will never be able to completely get rid of me (just like he can't get rid of her).
And I could see her telling the boys that daddy won't love them now that he has a new baby/family. Which won't be the case, I wouldn't let that happen. But the boys are 4 and 6 now so really the older they get the more likely they are to believe her, until we prove them wrong of course.
And there are concerns about the Skids too, not sure how SS4 will handle not being 'the baby' at our house, if we have a baby. But I am sure he would get over it eventually.
I found that getting a dog
I found that getting a dog helped me with my baby bug issues. I've had my dogs for 9 & 10 years...haven't had baby bug issues since I got them. My reasons for not wanting a child yet are many & I have no regrets on that front. If I end up never giving birth, I am okay with that but will happily do so once my "list" is complete...but I'm doubting that it will happen.
Seriously though...getting an animal can help with the maternal urges or at least keep them at bay until the time is right for you.
Good luck!
I have 2 cats (ages 5 and
I have 2 cats (ages 5 and 17), but was thinking about getting a kitten or something (Becuase Kittens are more work and it's like a baby). I love my fur-babies but find myself asking them more and more if they want a baby sister or brother.
I talk to mine too. I do
I talk to mine too. I do know however that neither of my dogs would be amused with a baby. My male dog (10 yrs) doesn't understand why infants can't throw a ball for him (hysterical to watch btw) and my female is okay around kids from about 4 years old but younger ones seem to creep her out...she likes her space & little people don't get it.
If you want to go for WORK, get a puppy...it's like a kitten on steroids. Something I did when I NEEDED a baby (animal) around was foster for a rescue group...I personally did dogs but as you're a cat person, I'm sure they have plenty needing foster homes
that way, you can keep a constant supply of kittens going in and out...you get to hang around for the "baby" phase but don't end up a "collector".
Unless your cats have attitudes (like my dogs - they give me straight up "go to hell" looks), stop asking if they want a brother or sister...it will only get worse for you.