has anyone ever gone for full legal custody?
What do you have to prove to get that? I am assuming that it's not easy to do. I ask because it came up yesterday with FDH after his continued frustration and disappointment with BM. Currently She doesn't want ss4 to have speech and physical therapy this summer. FDH and I thought we had covered all possible reason for BM to say no - FDH called them and got all the information. It's covered under their insurance, the docs said they would send a referral and they said they could do it every other week on OUR weeks so that it would affect BM's schedule.
Her complaints was "I can't keep taking off work to take him to doc appts." FDH told her that it would be on our weeks and I could take him. She rolled her eyes. Now I know that I can't go to doc appts but this is therapy, it's not the same right? I mean I was under the impression it was like school and I would just drop him off, they do their thing and then I take him home. But we didn't get a 'yes' from her so now FDH has to ask her again next week. and it would just be for the summer - he currently get therapy at school. It's so frustrating.
But this time around FDH has made it clear to the docs that HE wants this for ss4 and that BM is the hold up. We also have both copies of the doc reports - the 1st one in which BM said that ss4 basically can't do anything with out getting upset and the one where FDH called him and said it was all BS (more or less). He also has been contacting the school more and I think they are starting to realize BM and FDH aren't on the same pages.
We also have proof that BM tried to take FDH for $100 bucks on HER medical bills.
We can't prove it but BM seems to switch everything into her name and only her name so FDH doesn't get any information. He has changed to back to both their information at this one place like 3 times already. Then BM gets mad with FDH can't go because she tells him like a few days before and he can't get off work that quickly. Which yes that is something she could us against him since he 'appears' to be absent at doc appts.
We also have e-mail for ss6's doc that say BM didn't asked him a question that she said she did about ss6's health. Which she then refused to have him tested for what the doc said COULD have been the cause.
It's seems like we have a lot but I am not sure we have enough. I feel for FDH though and his consent fight to do what's best for his kids. A fight that he has only recently (this past year)taken up because it is so completely draining to get her to do anything right.
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First few questions you have
First few questions you have to ask your self. Do you have $10,000 for an attorney. Is there anything in your past or his past at all that you don't want brought up?
Yes .... and no. Fortunately
Yes .... and no.
Fortunately for us from a custody perspective my DW was a 16yo single teen mom. In those cases full physical and legal custody is nearly always awarded to the BM.
We did fight an attempt by SpermGrandMa to file for custody on the SpermIdiot's behalf .... without his knowledge.
That cost us ~$7K. We kicked ass but it was still a PITA to fight.
Getting custody from a BM is very difficult. However, not impossible. Your situation with the BM's refusal to obtain critical medical and social therapy (physical/speech) is probably a very good opportunity to get custody away from BM.
Short of BM being an axe murdering, child pimping, child porn selling, prostitute crack head you probably have a decent chance. That said, even when BM is an an axe murdering, child pimping, child porn selling, prostitute crack head getting custody is far from a slam dunk.
I make these decisions from the basis of what is in the best interests of my Kid (SS) and my family. If it is in my kid's best interest and my family's best interests then I go for it.
It is critical to make sure that you do not get too pushy with this issue in front of a Judge. Present the facts, present overwhelming volumes of proof of her idiocy and medical neglect of your Skid, outline the benefits of your DH gaining custody, have a strong attorney to represent you and be professional at all times.
Then hang on for the ride. When these idiots get their asses bared in court they can get very entertaining.
All IMHO of course.
Good luck.
Thanks for the info/advice.
Thanks for the info/advice.
I think for now we are going to continue to document her odd behavior while pushing for what DH thinks the sKids need for now. Clearly we would only what to have to go to court once. I am waiting to see what happens the next few months. SS6 (almost 7) has a yearly check up and last year DH brought an issue to the attention of the doc but BM refused to have him tested. He plans to bring it up again and provide proof (BM claims that he doesn't do it at her house) and see if BM will turn a blind eye again. I told DH it's shady but you need to get BM to reject the testing in front of the doc, rather than over the phone to him after the fact. And he needs to let the doc know that he is for testing.
It's also worth saying that SS4 had a dentist appointment (which DH scheduled because SS4 kept saying that his teeth hurt) It didn't go well, ss4 hates docs because he has had to deal with them his whole life. They refereed him to a different doc and may have to sedate him. So far DH has heard back yet about an Appt, BM may wait until the last minute to inform us as usual.