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depressed 7yr finally pushed me over the edge.

SisterNeko's picture

I have been saying for months that there is something wrong with SS7. FDH agreed but didn't do anything about it and well I CAN'T do anything about it. So this weekend things finally got really bad and FDH admitted there was a problem.

This is what I had noticed and told FDH leading into this week/weekend. SS7 craves attention to the point of following me around and talking non-stop. I trip on him when I try to clean house. He has had at least one Panic Attack every week that we have him (not sure what happens at BM's House) since about May. (he cries and says that he is having a heart attack and EVERYTHING is wrong with him) He has gotten really mean to SS5. He picks on his at the park and kicks him out of his room for no reason and even once tried to kick SS5 out of SS5's room! He cries/upset easily. He doesn't want to go any where or do anything at time accept play video games (he used to LOVE playing with other kids)

This week SS7 was mean to SS5 and when asked why he told us it was because SS5 is loved more than he is. SS7 had 4 teeth pulled but that didn't seem to bother him (after the fact) and I told SS7 that it was going to be a long weekend, I had family coming in from out of state and FDH had a friend from another country coming to visit. Made him take a nap Friday before we left to go camping (with all the kids and people at the family cottage) because it seems to be worse when he is tired. Friday he was OK, he got a little whiny at dinner and then a little whiny at bed time.

Saturday, he was okay in the morning but when I got back from going to town he was crying because another kid 'made' him let the toad go that he caught. Then we tried to get him to eat lunch and he start to panic again - said he didn't feel good and was crying again so we made him lay down. He calmed down and we left to go play in the lake - when we got there SS7 wanted little to do with the kids and just sort of walked around and pouted. I am sure it was hard for him because he wanted to be around FDH and I but we were being pulled in all directions, My niece and nephews love to see me. When we got back it was time to get ready to go to dinner with the adults - we all got a sitter (the first time we have gotten a baby sitter since we start dating) and went to my fave restaurant, where I proceeded to get sick to my tummy and couldn't eat my food. We go back and of course it's late and we put hte kids right to bed and you got it SS7 starts to have ANOTHER panic attack. Now FDH is cranky and I don't feel well, starting to have my own little panic attack (I used to get them all the time but I went to therapy so I can control it) Finally I just walked away because FDH wasn't helping and I couldn't take it. I put his fingers on my neck so he could feel my pulse and I walked away.

Sunday all the kids were came back and SS7 was already freaking out about nothing. He came up to me and FDH and asked us how old you had to me to DIE or go into a Coma? Then he started crying again and FDH yelled at him, which is SO helpful. We put him in bed and when he calmed down we sent him to town with MIL. FDH took me and SS5 on a 4 wheeler ride to talk about it - since everyone was around and no one was understand what was wrong. I flat out told him that I was DONE. Either he talked to BM about getting him help or I was calling CPS. I gave him a deadline. I know he doesn't want to lose his kids but it apparent that we can't handle it. SO if he would have happier some place else I would rather see him happy.

When the kids got there SS& went into the camper and played his video game. Then he was walking around with his pokemon cards but NONE of the kids were interested in them. They all wanted to fish or swim. So we just kind of let him do his thing at least he wasn't crying. I was talking to my sister about the night before and she asked me "how does a 7 year old have a panic attack?" I told her is she figured it out to let me know. Honestly I can see where SS7 would be stressed, he is the child of divorced parents and has a 'special needs' sibling. Plus I think BM has panic attacks (she flips out on me every couple months)

Then SS5 started to cry because we made him get out of the water to eat lunch, which he would eat so I carried him to the camper and tossed him in bed, I was done with him too. FDH asked me what was wrong and I flat out told him "Your children are train wrecks." Everyone else was happy and having a good time accept us. Then she started talking about taking hte camper some places else. Sorry am and not paying for a camp ground so SS7 can play video games and SS5 can cry about having to eat lunch.

On the plus side when we dropped the boys off FDH talked to BM about. Both boys went inside so they chatted for awhile. FDH told BM about this weekend, what SS7 said/ask him. and Told her that he really crave alone time with adult - to which BM said SS5 has feelings too. But FDH told her SS5 doesn't seem to care. The proof of that was behind BM! SS5 was gone into the house. SS7 came back to the door a few times to see if BM was coming and then came outside with his toys and sat on the sidewalk behind her and was playing/talking to them. BM did however agree that SS7 might need therapy or something and that she would look into it (we will too). I think FDH got her to agree to it because he told her, either we deal with this now while he is young or we face having a depressed and potentially suicidal teen (scare tactics work with BM). Best part is BM told us they are going to see her dad in another state this weekend - to that I say GOOD LUCK BM!

I have never been so happy to see SKids go away. Usually I like having them around but this weekend they were just too much. I hope it works out but getting my thoughts/stuff together in case I need to call CPS.