WTH. I'd've been hard-pressed to keep from saying a) You're asking for a divorce, or 2) you want me to go to jail.

Was he drunk? Lol

Shieldmaiden, you owe me an apology! This blog made me laugh so hard, my seltzer went up my nose.  *Note to self: never drink while reading Shieldmaiden's posts.

Has your DH lost his mind??  Mine would be sleeping on the porch if he ever suggested that.  However, I am one of the fortunate few who has a husband who cannot stand the mere sight of his ex-wife anymore, so I never have to concern myself with that type of request.

As for your description of your SD and her Bohemian lifestyle? It was all just too funny for words.

I don't have any advice for you, but I do have to thank you for this very entertaining post. I have a feeling I'll be giggling about it all night! LOL

Sd stayed with us for over a month...full time, and TT went off with her sister, Crazy Troll. End of story, never came up.

However Ive had the opposite nightmare of "what if...." WE were the ones in need..."

This brings back memories of when we had fires in our area. I prayed to God to save BM's house so the diablas did not end up with us full time and then they would be able to milk the sympathy train. 

At one point the fires were closer to our house than BM's. DH asked me if I would consider having BM take in our cats for us? I think I answered something along the lines of "Would you ask Cruella to watch your litter of Dalmatian puppies???" WTH? No thank-you! The cats can go stay with my friends in a neighboring county. 

YSD22 also thinks of herself as a hippy. This is a kid that knows nothing about nature, healthy diet, community and some of the other more admirable qualities of a hippy lifestyle. She has the judgemental snob, hairy, poor hygiene part down tho. 

This week she is pissing me off because we have a big family cell phone plan and SD used 5 times more data than everyone else because she is too lazy to connect to her house's WiFi. I hope to god someone else in the family starts to see what an inconsiderate little sh*t she can be and calls her out on it. They give her way too much slack even when she behaves uncivilized, like she has never socialized. We all have been warned multiple times that we need to hook up to WiFi whenever possible so as not to use up all the data. Now ALL of our phones (me, DH, my DD and other family members on the plan) data has been slowed down to help prevent overage charges until the next billing cycle starts. Que Diabla! 

I hope you and yours stay safe. *give_rose* These fires keep getting crazier and crazier.

Satan is so gross, that if DH suggested she stay with us, I'd suggest a threesome.  He'd toss his cookies.  Rightfully so.

Muahahahahahaaaaaa!

Send BM some bbq sauce to slather on so she will taste good for the forest creature post fire feast.

Since the Skids joined her. Send an extra bottle and a nice bbq rub for the animals to enjoy.

BWAHAHAHAHA.  NO! 

OMG this weekend DH was trying to say nice things about BM over here, in relation again to how she's really a 'good mother and actually does support X activity.' I shut that down so fast, "DH, let's drop this now because I don't agree at all and I don't want to hear it." Lucky for him he stopped talking, esp. once he admitted that she didn't do X at any point during their marriage!  WTH! 

Ew, I get that smell. Combine it with unwashed sheet smell of at least 6 months and unwashed pajamas and underwear AND not teeth brushing (she hated to brush her teeth). I got a whiff of OSD one time like that (of course no bathing for DAYS and DAYS) and I had to leave the kitchen before I gagged again. DH wouldn't hear me so I let him sit by her....oh, he got it then and their arguments were monumental. But you know, "I was right" when I told him the SDs needed a bath routine in the mornings and evenings (7 and 9 when I met them) and he thought I was "too harsh."

I simply refused to sit next to her or be in a car with her unless she bathed, let alone do anything in public.

Now he's noticing that YSD16 doesn't shower usually at all on the weekends she's here, not even if they go on a bike ride. She was showering the last I could figure out about 2x per week, maximum. At least she also has clean clothes. But I'm thinking she also is not brushing her teeth....but that's not for me to point out.

LOL.. why would he think that's an option??!! I've told this story a few times on here..

About 10 months so SO and I being together BM decided to leave her now husband to be with someone (who was like SO) else. He was also divorced with 3 kids so we knew it wasn't going to last.. it last two weeks.

BUT.. while she was transitioning.. SO let her keep her motorcycle at our house.. didn't ask me or anything.. He was very much enmeshed with her back then..

I pull in, BMs motorcycle was in the driveway.. I was like wtf... his response "I didn't think you would care." I was "cool" with her at the time but like really dude.. When he was walking it to our shed it was pathetic TBH. He got the picture with that one.. took me longer with everything else though..

Honestly, I think my reply would have been, "F.U.". And walk away. 

TF is wrong with him?

Tell her to go to a shelter.  So not your problem, such an inappropriate ask.

since he wouldn't p*ss on her if she was on fire.  But in the event he did..I would have looked at him like he needed a exorcism and told him...unless he planned on buying me out of my house....there would be NO WAY IN FREAKING H8LL she would stay here.  Its my house...that is not my circus.

I used to dream of some calamity striking Crazy, but when I realized that would mean FT skids, I ttook it all back. I now just wish extremely uncomfortable or inconvenient things for her, like a raging STD, extreme alopecia, that someone glues her car doors shut... Nothing that would risk extra skid custody. 

This reminds me of when sd's cut off contact with their dad for 5.5 yrs and disappeared over lies they knew their mum made about their dad but still went along then accused their dad of all that crap that they just admitted were lies.

finally when eldest sd who was now 22.5 contacts her dad, we were married with 2 kids aged 1 & 2.5, she had the nerve to message my husband that biomum thinks her affair hubby will leave her (you the guy she was having an affair whilst married to my husband and prior to them separating and had affair hubby leave his wife to marry her).

my husband had a care factor of 0. Had sd called my husband saying biomum is on the street kicked out ouf their home and affair hubby is separating and divorcing her, hubby would have said not my problem.
 

If her house had burnt down, she has family to stay with. The fact they have a non existent relationship because exwife stole from them is not hubbys problem 

add to this the fact is during the divorce, exwife had her police dad and police brother come to my husband's prior home and threaten to shoot and/or stab him if he didn't give more money in divorce settlement which he pretty much said f-u!!

funny thing is after the divorce, exwife's own dad cut off contact because his new wife after his exwife died, couldn't stand my husbands exwife, she knew what a nasty bitch she was and when her own mum was ill, had covertly managed to have her elderly and sick mum transfer all her property and bank accts to exwife for safe keeping and all her siblings found out what she did. None of her siblings had anything to inherit and some even went as far to see a witch dr and do black magic against her and my sd's because they saw sd's benefiting off the estate as guilty by association.

my husband has no care in the world for biomum and made it clear to eldest sd that his priority and care/concern is to me and our 2 young kids