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We just found out that ss19 is in a desperate financial state

Sherrylyn's picture

Submitted by Sherrylyn on Thu, 03/08/2007 - 3:27pm

We have been trying to get ss19 on a budget for some time. He was spending as fast or faster than he was making it. 2 credit cards maxed out, no savings, and other bills piling up. You know mobile phone, high speed internet, yada yada yada. He now has lost his job. We really want to help but it can only be here and there. If we just take care of it he will do it all over again, he's done small things before that my husband just took care of for him. He really needs to do a bunch of leg work for himself, forget that no job right now is beneath him and apply for jobs, apply for his employment insurance, and if needed go to social services. It's a head shaker.

Comments

stamina's picture

Submitted by stamina on Thu, 03/08/2007 - 3:41pm

Let him live with the consequences. Natural consequences are the best teacher. Bailing kids out robs them of the chance to learn from their mistakes.

farmers wife's picture

Submitted by farmers wife on Fri, 10/04/2013 - 7:27pm

Agree

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Thu, 03/08/2007 - 3:44pm

...when credit card companies approve cards for youngsters. These new "adults" can't resist, but they also can't pay and then the credit card companies make a killing off of the gullible parents who bail them out. Sigh. I'm not going to even tell you how much (over $50k) my in-laws dished out to my SIL when she was irresponsible with her finances. And she was a good ten years older than your SS!

I think you give SS19 the following choice...

1. Get a job. Any job. Period. If he gets a job, you will help.

2. You will help by setting him up on a budget, teaching him how to distribute his money for the maximum benefit/payoff, getting him to commit to sticking to the budget you set.

3. Give him a window of "financial help," if you guys want to contribute financially. Three months, six months, two weeks, whatever you are comfortable with, as long as it's short-term. Whether it's ten bucks, ten thousand bucks or two dinners a night for the next five months, figure out what you can/want to contribute, but make sure he sticks to the plan or all help is off.

4. Teach him how to get a copy of his credit report, teach him how to negotiate with credit companies (some will work with him, if he can show he's making an honest effort), show him what really is a necessity (food) and what isn't (high speed internet).

5. No credit cards. Period. Cut them up, get rid of them, he doesn't apply for more or no more help. If you want to, loan him the money interest-free or at a low interest to pay off his debts, but the stipulation is he MUST pay you back every single dime and he absolutely cannot get more credit until his debts are paid.

I think the best help you can give him is not financial, but organizational. Teach him how to make better financial decisions and, hopefully, he will learn his lesson this time.

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)