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Been gone for a while but while i was out.....

shandee's picture

We had a strange occurance last weekend, which could be a total fluke but I still have hope that these are the winds of change, and however gently the breeze blows there is hope.
We have been fighting for two years for just minimum state guidelines reguarding visitation, unfortunately dh had no insight when the original papers were signed that his child would be kept from him, he was a main caregiver , well you know hindsight. Anyway, we have thurs. parenting time and it is always a huge issue for me to pick up the sd,(pick up time by the current papers is 7pm, we have been allowed to pick her up at 530 since she started taking dance. We have asked for an after school pick up but that has bee vehemently refused!!)Last thurs I was in the town sd lives taking my gmother to the dr and the bm actually let me pick sd up and at 4pm!!! Everything went off well, It is amazing how much more relaxed sd is when things like that happen and she doesn't feel like she is the center of some conflict. Next as we provide all transportation(once again we have been asking for shared transportation but since she drags her feet all these small things get hung up in a bigger court issue.)we were to have sd back at bm 5:30 sun, at 4 pm she called and said she would be in town (her family lives here) she would come and pick up the child!! We couldn't believe it!! So the next issue was dh had been trying to communicate with bm about our church's xmas program which sd has a part, she always made herself unavailable to talk and didn't seem receptive of it. I suggested to my husband he approach it different , be very polite invite her and her family to church , if they choose not to come we would come and gt sd and return her, if they didn't have plans for that night, we gave her a paper with all the dates and she said well I don't know what we are doing yet....but she didn't say NO!! I know these are very small trivial things but in the world of a stepparent it feels huge! If it doesn't last Im thankful that it at least happened once, because that means it could happen again. I keep praying because God really does listen!! I hope you all can feel once how I felt last weekend, it really was good if only for a moment! God Bless you all over this holiday season!!

Comments

sparky's picture

The art of negotiation is a skill that some parents and SP never acquire, but it sounds like you are on the right track. Just goes to prove that one can catch more flies with honey versus vinegar.

Most Evil's picture

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