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Help -I wish my daughter didn't look like SD

SeeYouNever's picture

I'm going to share a secret that I can't tell anyone else and I'm afraid to ask anywhere else. 

So once in a while I get this weird wave of negative feelings when my daughter makes a face and resembles SD12. I know she doesn't resemble SD, she actually resembles my husband, whom I love, but maybe it's the fact that they are both girls that does it? In that moment to me she looks more like SD than like my husband.

If she looks even the slightest bit like SD in a picture I delete it. I feel bad because I love my daughter but these random moments remind me of SD and I hate it.

My toddler looks more like me (well my dad actually!) most of the time. I'm about to have my second and I'm worried she is going to look more like my husband and therefore give me the icky SD feeling. 

Has anyone else felt like this? I hate this feeling. 


Peach's picture

I haven't dealt with that, but I think you need to concentrate of the fact that they look like your husband whom you love.  Smile


Lifer33's picture

Strangely my bd 5 and ss 11 look more and more like each other by the day, they could be twins of you stuck a wig on ss it's bizarre! Now bd has taken on some of his mannerisms like shouting 'boom!' and clicking her fingers when she wins a game for example. Not gonna lie, it makes me cringe. I don't dislike ss he's just gobby n show off like his bm and her family, and I song want bd turning into the same 

tog redux's picture

I'm confused- you have a daughter who looks like your husband, a toddler who looks like you and are about to have your second ... third?

My SS looks just like BM which has always made it even harder for me to like him.  I would hate to have a kid who looked like SS.

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

I would hate to have kids who resemble any of the awful monster children that my husband has, so I totally understand you. We often associate ugly attitudes with looks (i.e. someone pretty can appear unattractive to us when they behave certain ways) and therefore we cant have the same looks/traits appear in others without experiencing disgust


Idk how this can be resolved as she will always look like this. Maybe try to raise her in a way that makes her a totally different person than her sibling....

Floral_SM's picture

I feel people look at children how they want to see them sometimes, so try to focus on the positives. I know it can be hard, SD makes me cringe when she says my daughter and her have the same hair. When she's gone I tell myself no, no, no.

What really annoys me is DH's mum telling me what the skids looked like when they were babies and compare my baby to them. First, I don't care what they looked like as little babies. This is my first child, so it's annoying to have my baby compared to her half brother and sister that I haven't even seen or experienced to see for myself. Second, don't keep telling me SS is identical to DH. He's not, he's looking more like his mother and my baby is identical to DH! This is probably why I've grown to stay away from his family. They just see my first child as baby number 3 to DH, so she just gets compared all the time.