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Well Christmas and BM being dumb

secret's picture

BM is being a twunt about the schedule..she wants to stay on week on week off because NOW she has it in her head that since it's best for ss6, we should stick with it.

Yay. Truly. Progress.

Except... 25th falls on her week and she won't give up some time for Dh to have some.

Mkay dingbat... hear me now.

I wrote an email to our lawyer (who is my mother, BM has no clue) stating that BM has refused our request, which is her right I suppose... but that next year it falls on switch day so they will have no choice but to have a hand off... And that for the next several years it falls on Dhs week and so she won't have him on the 25th for like 6 Yeats or something like that... what a shame. Lol

BM, as expected, responded that she might be willing to give dh an hour or so...but that it has to be early early (Like 6am) because it's her time.

Whatever twunty... have it your way...And you can explain to ss6 why he can't see dad on Christmas.

It's gonna be a long couple Christmases coming up for her.

Sometimes it's 1 step forward TWO steps back with this one....


ntm's picture

DH gave up on Christmas, even on his court ordered years, because having to be here and there on such a disregulating day made the younger one bonkers. We just did the gift grab on another day. An hour of time, whenever it is, is too much transition in too little time. 

You know that the years it falls on his week she's going to be doing a full court press to get that kid. Sometimes you gotta decide which hills to die on. I left it up to DH. The year he was getting phone calls from BM's family members telling him he should ignore the custody agreement that SHE signed -- I prefer battle free Christmas days. I learned to let DH fight his own battles unless it affected my life or my finances. 

ndc's picture

We exchanged Christmas gifts with the skids tonight, because it's our last night with them until the week after Christmas.  BM and DH don't split Christmas, and we go out of town with my family Christmas week.  Last year the skids came with us; this year it's BM's year.  Even though the skids are young, it's not such a big deal.  We celebrate on a different day - we did presents tonight, we did stockings on St. Nicholas Day a couple weeks ago.  Turns out that missing the chaos of the kids opening the Santa presents every other year isn't so bad, and we appreciate it more when it's our turn.  DH will Facetime with the skids on Christmas, and probably Christmas Eve, too.  We do all the Christmas things every year - just not always on the actual date.  Being flexible about the holidays just makes everything go much more smoothly, IMO.

secret's picture

This is the first for Dh so he's taking it hard.

My family is used to moving Christmas around to suit everyone's schedule as much as possible so it's not a big deal for me... I feel for Dh.

She won't take dh to court... I've made her too nervous by essentially threatening her with retro fraud accusations. She's learned I don't play her games and she's finally learned that dh isn't going to act like a starved dog anymore when she throws out a chunk of kibble..because this mama's got the juicy steak, and it's gooood ;)


Also... legal fees. She's been notified that if her shit continues we're filing for our fees to be paid.

There aren't any, but she doesn't know that. Lol

Harry's picture

Text and e mails. For future years 

justmakingthebest's picture

You guys don't have holiday's separate from standard visitation? I would ask your mom to file for that to be done.

tog redux's picture

Yeah, she just wants to keep week by week until she's done hogging Christmas.

He should go back and get a schedule that includes holidays being alternated. 

secret's picture

We proposed it in the long version of the agreement

She had emailed that they could just arrange for holidays... I knew it was a bad idea but hey my name's not on the agreement so... lol

simifan's picture


I'd have DH send an email stating this is fine, but it will continue this way in future making sure to note she will not see Skid for X-mas in 2021, 2022, 2023, etc. . Is she sure this is the way she wants to continue?