Unibomber may raise his grumpy head

Ok this weekend we are having FH family down, it is FH birthday and this will be the first time his family has been to our house. Ok so the issue is, I think Unibomber may place a call to FH to see about coming over. Now remember he has been nothing but a jack ass to his dad - called his dad terrible names, treated his dad like a POS. so we told him until he apologizes he is not welcomed at our house.
sooo I am pretty sure he got wind of the birthday party cook out, and I am pretty sure he will ask FH to come over. I think unless he makes a sincere apology (ha!) then maybe, but I doubt it will be sincere- so my question I guess is should (i know I will be consulted) we say ok come over? or should we just have him meet his grandparents at a different location,they will be close to biomom's house on the way home.
I dont want that kid/man at my house - he is mean and rude and just a big downer.he is hateful and spiteful. but I also dont want to be a total biotch about it either. HELP!!

sarahbernheart's blog
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ugh, tough one, what does your FH say?

I'm sure a big part of him would like to put it aside, even for a day, just to have his son there. On the other hand, the msg it sends, that you'll cave when it's conveinient, is probably not what you want.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

tough yah

He didnt say anything yet I didnt want to bring it up ( I am anticipating a call) cuz I know it hurts him the way Unib has been treating him.
this kid is really is selfish and self centered- and I just know that once he gets what he wants it will be back to his ugliness.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

So here we go, SarahB!

I think you have to stand firm here (but I've been known to be a bit of a hard-ass )

Unibomber has established a definite pattern of nastiness and spiteful toward his father and you and NEVER made any attempts at a sincere apology.

He is 19 yrs old. He is an adult, albeit not acting like one- but he is one. And now, he has to take responsiblity for his actions.

And what BETTER occasion, than his father's birthday, than to wipe the slate clean and come to his father's home offering a SINCERE apology??? This would be the best gift he could give his dad!

Is there any way YOU could (and I KNOW this would be hard for you to do) call your SS (or even text him) and say, "You will be welcomed into our home, but before you can, you must realize that you must sincerely apologize to your father. Since it is his birthday, this would mean the world to him."

Worth a shot? Or would it just fall on deaf (an immature) ears?

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

HA SINCERE

I doubt he feels like he should apologize he thinks his dad should.
my fear is he will just show up!
and I dont think Unib cares at all it is his dad's b-day he wants to get $ from grandparents- they are holding his b-day $ from him b/c of his attitude- GM is bringing the card with her and said we could hold it for her - oh this is just a mess. He can just bring down the whole day-
I wanted it to be such a nice party.

ps I am sending you an email.

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

In that case...

Screw him, SarahB.

I'm sorry, but this is YOUR HOME. And I would not let any insincere, unapologetic scumbag kid into your home...

especially when his motives are clearly SELFISH! (To get his money???)

I would not let him ruin your FHs party. No way. No how.
Birthdays should be a time for gathering people around you who CARE for you. This kid doesn't care for his father. He CARES for his money waiting for him.

(See? I told you I was a hard ass!)

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"