You are here

SD24 tries to apologize and fails miserably--I let her have it

Sarah101's picture

First, the spew:

SD24 is the most disgusting of DH's 5 adult children. Of all of them, she is most like her bipolar mother. SD24 is a compulsive liar, a gold digger, and has made the mistake of believing her own lies. She thinks she can control people and situations and loves creating family drama, and instigates fights among the "gaggle" of DH's 4 adult daughters. SD24 has been behind most of the slander and disrespect that has been directed at me and her father over the years. She has been the "jealous wife."

In short, she makes me sick. I became even sicker when I cleaned out all the junk she left in her room when we kicked her out of the house months ago--pregnancy tests, used feminine supplies, a phone full of sexually explicit text messages, and pornographic pictures of herself. Blech! I got rid of everything and was tempted to bleach her room. I still don't like to go in there, even though it is cleaned out. SD24 is a walking definition of the word "skank."

My DH has been putting pressure on SD24 for 7 months to apologize for emailing a bunch of slander and lies about us to the entire extended family. To DH's credit, he has refused to pay much attention to SD24 for the past few months--and that has gone up her controlling butt a mile. SD24 has always controlled DH (or thought she controlled him), so when he stopped playing by her rules and demanded that she take responsibility for her latest crap, she was stunned.

Of course, she blamed me for brainwashing DH.

So SD24 shows up this past weekend and says, "I'm sorry" while looking at the ground. "Sorry for what?" I ask. "Oh, you know..." she says.

It went downhill from there. The only reason the bitch even showed up was to get her daddy back under her wing. She was unable to articulate to us what exactly she was apologizing for, and when asked, couldn't even explain why she did it. I kept thinking to myself: This is a 24 YEAR OLD ADULT in front of me who thinks I'll buy her rancid RETARD bullshit.

So folks, I let her have it. And I am ashamed to say that it felt GOOD!

Seriously, I was fully prepared to be magnanamous if she put any effort into an apology. I won't be a jerk if someone really tries. But SD24 wasn't trying at all, so I thought what the hell.

Now, I am best described as more introverted than extraverted, and I don't raise my voice--ever. I'd rather avoid conflict than engage in it. I'd rather take the high road than engage in silly situations, so I have always controlled myself and shut my mouth when confronted with the BS shoveled out by DH's adult children.

But not this time! I've decided that the gloves are off when it comes to crap from DH's kids, and if I hear it I will call them on it. I have completely lost patience with SD24. I reamined calm and didn't yell, but my words were harsh. I am proud to say that the words "bitch" and "skank" were never uttered--now THAT took restraint!

I won't go into everything, but I let SD24 know that I won't ask her to stop the slanderous emails or the vicious gossip. (She looked shocked). Why would I do that? I told her that she should continue to show the family who she is by what she says in person and via email, and they could make their own judgements about who she really is.

So, dear SD24, continue to gossip, continue to email outrageous lies, continue the drama, and the family will continue to roll their eyes when you walk past.

I also told SD24 that I could not think of one instance where she has brought anything positive or decent to my life, or to my family. So I have written her off. This apology is CRAP, the way she treats others is CRAP, and the way she treats her own father is CRAP. Life is too short to put up with people like her.

With so many wonderful, loving people in my life, I see no room for SD24. She just looked at me like she wanted me to drop dead, but I'm used to that.

DH was there too, and he tried so hard with the "let's just all get along" thing. No way. Sarah101 is FINISHED! After 10 minutes I was through with SD24, and asked her if there was anything else she had to say. When she said NO, I stood up and left.

The very next day, SD24 asked DH to go to a movie with her. I guess she thought everything is great with her daddy again and it's business as usual (which means she calls the shots). He told her no, because he had already made plans with BD12 (and he had). She emailed him a bitchy reply that she should call BD12's dad (my ex)and ask him to go to a movie with her.

I just laughed. So did DH. I think that he FINALLY sees what a shrew SD24 has turned out to be. A lonely shrew too--seems she doesn't have much of a social life anymore. Hmmmmmm....

Sorry this is so long...I had to rant a bit. SD24 will no doubt be the most troublesome of DH's adult children in the long run. She is so determined to "win" her daddy back from evil Sarah101--like a jealous ex-wife.

More about the cocaine addict SD18 and the pothead, alcoholic SS21 in my next blog.

Comments

StepLightly's picture

I cheered (literally and loudly) when I read your post! Way to go! My SD19 is the same way and I'm sure will be much worse by the time she hits 24. I don't think I'd ever have the guts to do what you did. You are inspiring! You're my hero! lol

KittyKat's picture

"Nuf said. As I'm learning MORE AND MORE of late, explaining
"nicely" doesn't work (even with MY OWN adult son!) Sometimes
you just have to cut to the chase and let them know you mean
business!

Have a GRRRRREAT NIGHT!

Sia's picture

and why would you be ashamed to say it felt good to tell her sorry but off? Don't be ashamed, be proud!
With that said, let me say this.... DH's oldest is 19 and sounds exactly like your SD24. However, she IS bipolar. This IS the life they will live until they understand they need help and actually seek it on their own. My SD is NOT medicated, and she has a baby who is 2mos old. She refused to speak to DH and refuses to allow him to ssee the child. We have no idea why. I am glad though, b/c I don't think I could deal with it, honestly. Do some on-line research on that topic, or if I have you on myspace, read some of my blogs. (If not, send me a PM and I will send you my URL). Good luck to you and congrats on your telling her off!

Most Evil's picture

I agree, there comes a time when you have to call a spade a spade! congratulations on doing it so well!!!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

now4teens's picture

I think we were living parallel lives this weekend with our awful SDs! I, too, had the same type of conversation with my 'wonderful' SD16. I will pm you the details later in the day so I don't steal your thunder on your wonderful post.

I am so proud of you! And of your DH for 'seeing the light'!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

frustratedinMA's picture

Way to go Sarah.. Glad to hear that you and your dh are not backing down. She is like an girl version of a manboy. Looks like an adult, but acts like a 7 yr old.

Sarah101's picture

You all are the BEST! Thanks for all the support and good wishes. I so wish my life didn't feel like a battlefield at times. I wish I didn't have to expend energy on negative, toxic people. I wish those people weren't related to my DH.

This site has saved me hundreds of hours of therapy, and possible some medication as well Wink

And so goes another day...