Update: I got SD kicked out of school and am kinda happy about it

SD14 lived with us 6 months in another state from BM. I knew it would end in SD going home but I thought she'd last longer. Anyway, I had told SD's teachers at least 3 weeks ago that she was going back to BM's state when this was decided. BM couldn't get SD back into her old charter school so Monday morning, 3 days ago, BM said SD will go to the school in our state online while living in another state. SD has never been to a public school.

Today, the school receptionist called me a few times about getting SD disenrolled and I told her what BM's plan was. The counselor had emailed BM, DH, and me 2 days ago about getting SD's grades up and the "potential move" (that I told her was concrete) and wanted to have a Zoom with the 3 of us. I told DH to get BM to talk to her and thought I did my part and I would not be involved because I would end up telling BM off.

BM called DH this afternoon and said the school wants the computer and books back and that was it. DH said BM didn't say much and "what did she think would happen?" Yeah, ya idiot? What did she think would happen with an ill thought out plan? I hope SD knows BM is the one who failed her by doing nothing for the month she had to ensure SD's success upon returning home.

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You did not get SD kicked out

You did not get SD kicked out of school. With both public and charter schools, the student must reside with the catchment area. BM and DH do not reside in the same catchment area or even the same state. SD legally has to attend school in the catchment area of the parent she lives with.

BM and DH now have a choice. SD can go back to live with BM and attend a new school (her third this school year) or SD can stay with DH and stay at the same school (her second this school year) if she has not already been unenrolled and her seat filled.

Academically, either way is not good for SD. Changing schools mid year in high school is very hard even for the best of students.

Here I am starting to feel

Here I am starting to feel guilty for communicating with SD's teachers when her own parents won't but it also makes me wonder if BM has been avoiding the counselor since Tuesday..

There's no doubt SD wants to go back to live with BM and that's still the plan. School is only online in BM's state and why SD was failing before and moved here. BM said she works too much (no more than 40 hours a week but has 2 school aged kids) and didn't have time to help SD.

BM told DH a few weeks ago that she was going to do better now but obviously that isn't happening since SD isn't enrolled in any school at the moment. I'm happy to see BM fail but also feel bad that SD has such a useless mother that she's enmeshed with.