BM Drops SS10 From School
Posting an update because, well, I don't talk to anyone in my real life about this. SO got a call from the 10-year-old's school that BM dropped him. She told the school staff not to tell SS10. He rides the bus home to SO's, where he will stay the weekend, and i guess on Monday BM will enroll him in the school in her district. She just got the ex parte ruling and the hearing is early next week.
Can she do this based on a temporary emergency order? This cannot be legal. This kid is tiny for his age and has had behavioral problems. The staff at his current school know him and know SO. That school and SO's house are the only consistency in his life. I do not see him tolerating this move well at all.
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It's not illegal, she's his
It's not illegal, she's his parent and can do what she pleases. I can't imagine it will look good for her in court, though. She may think she's "won", but an ex parte is a temporary order and your SO will get a chance to present his side.
I guess she can. This is all
I guess she can. This is all such BS, though. Early on, the problem was enmeshment. Now this crap. This bitch refused to keep a schedule or take any responsibility for years. Would only parent the kids if she could do it with SO in his house. Then as soon as "her money" is threatened, she basically turns into a monster. I truly don't know what the hell is wrong with this person or what to do about it. I'm just floored that this type of person exists and i don't want my family to know any of this is going on. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it but SO and the people here. This is just such BS.
It is BS. The court system is
It is BS. The court system is designed to enable people like her, who will do anything to win.
But I can't imagine that when your SO gets to present his evidence - that he's been the primary parent for years, that SS is in special classes that she disrupted with no preparation, etc, that this will look good for her. She's thinking possession is 9/10ths of the law, but eventually court will hear all of the information.
What always irks me is that there are attorneys advising clients to do this kind of stuff. They claim "best interests of the children", but it's total malarkey.
The school principal is going
The school principal is going to write a letter on his behalf. Hopefully that will help. This BM truly doesn't give a crap about anything but the money.
That's great that the
That's great that the principal is doing that but, if SO doesn't focus right now, get his facts, records, receipts etc. to prove that they have been living with him..it will more then likely not go in his favor. I mean.. his 16 year old wasn't enrolled in a school but he was taking him to the gym... that's not going to look good for him either. He needs to be careful.
Our court battle was nothing compared to what I read on here because BM didn't actually want the skids she just didn't want to have to pay SO for them. Once she realized that it was done and over and she stopped taking them.
Now, I STILL keep track of what BM does with the skids. (In the notes on my phone) I probably don't need to anymore as they are 17,16,13. I do this in fear of her and her husband if they ever broke up it would be a shit show and no clue what she would try to do. I can screen shot 3 years in 3 pictures. That's how little she does.
SO doesn't remember anything but I had a ton of examples etched in my mind for his lawyer and the GAL to prove BM wasn't doing much the skids. At the time I was with SO little over 2 years and was "cool" with BM pretty much up until a few months prior to that. They weren't negative about her they were just plain facts. We were saving all of our receipts for food, clothes, SO was going to print bank statements.. stuff like that.
Now here we are 3 years after that fact. (little over 5 years total)
Edit: at the time we went to court she was taking them EOWE but, also abusing SO with she had plans can we keep them, she got laid off can you keep them, her and husband celebrating wtf ever can you keep them? So many excuses. Skids were planning weekend sleep overs at friends when it was BMs weekend so it was bound to happen anyways.
Why can't you talk to your
Why can't you talk to your family about it?
Also, she's heinous for sure, but this is a devil of your SO's own making. I am really not trying to be a B pointing that out time and again, but he has taken the easy route with most things for a long time. The only person who seems to have a plan of attack for this, or who takes it as seriously as it should be taken, is you. You have your own kids to worry about and protect, and your SO needs to be the adult here and take the bull fully by the horns.
My family knows he is
My family knows he is divorced and the situation isn't ideal, but they don't know all the details. Honestly, they may take the stance you do, that he is partially to blame. I agree. How could he not know that there was no CO? He has quoted their supposed CO to me so many times, when i asked why he served as BM's babysitter. He said it was in the CO!!!
Maybe he was lying to make
Maybe he was lying to make you back off?
So he lied to you.
So he lied to you.
Rumple, I wholeheartedly believe that you're so much better than your SO, and he knows it. He knows to keep you that he needs to seem far more put together than he is to keep you.
So he lies about the CO. He lies about his online activities. He does the bare minimum to keep you happy, and only after you are at your wit's end with him. You won't tell your family the details, but you know they'd probably agree that he isn't right for you.
Please, PLEASE don't let yourself get stuck in this. This is HIS mess that he LIED to you about. Instead of being somewhat aggravated with him and royally pissed at BM, you need to redirect your aim. She may be hot garbage on a summer day, but she isn't your problem. SO is.
So your SO does have a CO or
So your SO does have a CO or he doesn't? Surely there are court records he could look up online or even go to the court and request them?
I'm not going to say your SO lied (only he knows that), but he is learning like many people on this site, you must follow the CO always when you have a crazy ex partner.
I hope his lawyer can help him get this sorted out. I think you need to step back and just be there if DH needs you.
SO's dad is now backing out
SO's dad is now backing out of staying with the kids while he works. BM just texted and said she is going to be taking photos of who stays with them to make sure they aren't unsupervised. I told SO that i didn't feel comfortable staying there.
Meanwhile the boys come back saying how BM's husband told them I am "evil" and this whole thing is my fault, that i'm the one behind SO trying to stop paying her child support. I told them no, i have never said anything about it, since we are not married and it is not my money. I then left, because I want to say so much more. BM's husband must have no idea what has been going on. If he did, he would be thanking me for freeing his wife from an enmeshed relationship with her ex. What self-respecting husband is ok with his wife spending hours at her ex-husband's house, cooking, cleaning, and eating family meals?